Tag: pt daily briefing

Your Famous Blue Raincoat Was Torn At the Shoulder

Obama went book-shopping in Iowa. And what did he not buy? Mitt Romney's sexting masterpiece I Am Armageddon. And, because of Socialism, Obama may follow the example of George W. Bush and Bill Clinton by approving a couple of...

Share Some Greased Tea With Me, Everyday Is Silent and Grey

Teabaggers have shown great maturity by threatening the lives and vandalizing the homes and offices of Democratic lawmakers who voted for the Health Care Reform. Happy Thursday, gay soldiers! Defense Secretary Robert Gates will announce today that the Pentagon...

Here I Lie, In My Hospital Bed

Like to smoke your cigarettes on California's beaches? Sounds like you need a visit from Doctor Death Panel. Hillary Clinton performed at the AIPAC jam-band festival. You're an anti-Semite for even reading these words. The New York Times is...

Angels From the Realms of Glory, Stars Shone Bright Above

Somebody in the Obama Administration says Israel shouldn't be building 1,600 new homes in a neighboring country so Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's brother-in-law says, obviously, that Barack Obama hates the Jews. If you're sharing that foreclosed house with crazy...

I’m Worth a Million In Prizes With My Torture Film, Drive a GTO, Wear a Uniform, All On Government Loan

Nancy Pelosi's new idea is for the House to pass the Senate's health-care reform by not voting for it. America's remaining employed people would very much like to just stay in their jobs forever, quietly, not getting in the...

Sugar Plum Fairy Came and Hit the Streets

Nancy Pelosi was alerted when Eric Massa was trying to bone one of Barney Frank's male staffers seven months ago, but she did nothing because she was too busy doing nothing in Congress. Republicans and Democrats have nominated the...

Who’s That Woman On Your Arm, All Dressed Up To Do You Harm?

Barack Obama is really serious now about pushing that thing he campaigned on a couple of years ago, whatever it was. Senate and House Democrats continue to be insufferable. Joe Biden is in the Middle East solving all...

Day of the Locusts

It is very rude of the elected president and his party's big majorities in the House and Senate to consider a vote on the Health Care reform bills promised by the president and already passed by the House and...

Fly Me To the Moon

A sign that the economy is still horrible: Mark Foley opens a thrift shop in Florida. Millions of tons of ice have been found on the Moon's north pole. Humans haven't been to the moon in four decades. But...

Blue Blue Windows Behind the Stars

Nancy Pelosi says she's got the votes to pass a Health Care Reform bill in the House, but it will be different than the bill the Senate passed last year, so .... move to Canada? Are you a person...

New York Is Cold, But I Like Where I’m Living

Oh hey, that "Health Care Summit" was a failure, because Republicans are assholes and the Democrats are spineless. But at least Obama yelled at the crazy old man, John McCain. Does the NYT have some kind of secret magic...

Splashing the Wine With All the Rain Dogs

Chuckling horror sack Dick Cheney is "resting comfortably" after his latest hospitalization for chest pains. America won't be "resting comfortably" until his obituary is published. Speaking of murdering civilians in poor countries, U.S. forces killed busloads of innocent women...

The Rich Have Got Their Channels In the Bedrooms of the Poor

Eight of the Idaho Christians captured trying to move Haitian children to the neighboring Dominican Republic have been released to the United States military, while hundreds of thousands of Haitians continue to have no homes and no hope. Some...

And Melting Ice Cap Mountain Tops For You

For a special treat, some reporters were allowed to eat food at the King of Saudi Arabia's golden tent palace, when Hillary Clinton was there, and oh man so much food, it was crazy. Never seen so much food,...

It’s Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn’t Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here

Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. It...

Whatever Washington D.C. Is Doing To Displease The Clouds So, Just Stop

Today Iran began enriching its uranium for what are definitely nuclear-type purposes. Joe Jackson, the alive father of the dead pop star Michael Jackson, believes his son was killed in a conspiracy, which is a thing that commonly happens....