Tag Archives: pt D-I-V-O-R-C-E

  D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Alan Grayson’s Divorce Just Got Even Grosser

Time for us to check in once again on Rep. Alan Grayson (D-America’s Dingus) and his terrible divorce that we very reluctantly wrote about a few weeks back. We say “reluctantly” not because we are liberals who live up the ass of the establishment, but because we didn’t think Grayson’s “exculpatory” video was as exculpatory as the rest of you establishment-ass-living-liberals did. Then yesterday the whole thing got weird when Grayson’s lawyers filed a counter to Lolita Grayson’s divorce petition (Lolita? Seriously dude, that wasn’t a sign?). The new papers allege that despite having always maintained she had been divorced from her first husband for several years before meeting the future congressman, Lolita was in fact still married to one Robert Carson, and only secretly finalized the divorce in 1994, four years after she and Grayson married. Which makes her a bigamist. Which gives Alan Grayson legal ammunition to ask for an annulment on the grounds that his marriage was never legal in the first place. Yuck. Read more on Alan Grayson’s Divorce Just Got Even Grosser…
  D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Obamas Totally Getting Secret Divorce Because Of Secret Sexytime Or Maybe Just To Make Rush Limbaugh Happy

From the same not-newspaper of not-record that first broke the story of son-of-a-mill-worker (TRUE STORY! in case you hadn’t heard) John Edwards impregnating himself with the double super secret love child of professional attention whore Rielle Hunter comes this Pulitzer-worthy doozy, which we TOTALLY believe: WITH a White House cheating scan­dal set to explode, President BARACK OBAMA and his wife MICHELLE are hiding a divorce shocker from America! […] The two locked horns in a series of ugly fights during their recent Hawaiian getaway, but sources say the death blow came when Michelle learned that the Secret Service has covered up Obama’s cheating – twice. After a “mole” exposed the presi­dent’s betrayal, a furious Michelle ripped into him during a bitter blow-out and raged: “I want out!” Obviously, this story must be true, because it is sexy and fun and so much more interesting than any of the actual scandals the lamestream media insists on covering right now. Congratulations, flaccid-bag-of-gas Rush Limbaugh. Looks like you get your pony! Why can’t we have Obama running around on Michelle or something? … Wouldn’t that be a much better scandal than Christie and bridge lane closures, for crying out loud? Why yes, it surely would! Read more on Obamas Totally Getting Secret Divorce Because Of Secret Sexytime Or Maybe Just To Make Rush Limbaugh Happy…
  D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Just Pretty Much Saying ‘Eat Me’ At This Point

There were so very many “Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker just being a fucking dick for no good reason” stories all weekend, we kind of figured we would just hide out until it was done and then blame it on the Easter holiday. Really, where to even start? How about: Scott Walker does not want to be governor anymore, and is desperate for you to break up with him. Read more on Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Just Pretty Much Saying ‘Eat Me’ At This Point…