It was announced just this morning that known tumor Sarah Palin would be delivering a “convocation” on December 2 “about patriotism, citizenship and civic engagement,” at this college, the College of the Ozarks, in Missouri. It is perhaps the only (presumably?) accredited college in America that fancies going by a comically trademarked focus group slogan, “Hard Work U.,” instead of its much more lamentable real name. Anyway, it’s already sold out. Moles: remember to send the goods to tips@wonkette.com, even though we just made fun of your trashy school. [College of the Ozarks]

BLINGEE SUBMISSIONS WINDOW CLOSED: There were zero submissions to our latest Blingee contest for about half an hour, and now there are 100 to 150. GODDAMNIT. This will take a long time to go through, and where the hell is that rascal Intern Juli? So expect the winners post… later. To see who “wins an iPod.” In the meantime enjoy this submission that didn’t fit within the contest’s constraints, but is truly amazing anyway.

Politicians: they have bad luck on boats! Last Friday, Rudy Giuliani was happily riding a ferry of some kind in Michigan when he was set upon and attacked by a horde of vicious Ron Paul supporters demanding to know what he did with all the gold from the World Trade Centers and asking why he let Cheney do 9/11. According to a local GOP activist, the Paultards threatened to throw Rudy overboard. He eventually “took shelter in the ferry’s pilothouse for the 15-minute journey,” according to the Detroit Free Press. “It was awful,” says the activist, who has no sense of humor. But like we said a minute ago, boats are just bad news for politicians, as the New Yorker reveals in their October 1 issue. Examples include: MORE »