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Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It

Sometimes you have to burn the village to save it, every soldier knows that, which means it also totally makes sense that you have to shut down the government and then completely deprive it of revenue to fix it. Hear that? Just SHUT THAT SUCKER DOWN, the economy won’t mind at all. And then when you power it back on, drown it in a bathtub, and this is how we will solve all of our problems. Of course, while it’s down, you might not be able to access certain services you have come to depend on (LOSER!) but guess whose fault it is? OBAMA’s, of course. Here, let John Cornyn (R-Idiot) explain at you: Read more on Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It…
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Rand Paul: Stealing From the Government Just Like Being a Jewish Family During the Holocaust

Well hi Rand Paul, what crazy things are you going on and on about today, on the teevee, where everyone can see you? Oh, nothing, just all the ways in which the American government’s repossession of stolen property is just like when Nazis stole paintings from Jewish families, that’s all, no big deal. Let us listen closely while Rand Paul, expert in all things Constitutional, highlights the similarities between repossessing stolen property and stealing from Jewish families during the Holocaust. Read more on Rand Paul: Stealing From the Government Just Like Being a Jewish Family During the Holocaust…
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GOP Acts Like Total Dems, Whine to New York Times Typist

Hey, here’s a strategy that’s high on wow-factor but lacking in any sort of long-term sustainability: wrapping oneself in the flag to give authenticity to the demonization of gays, the war on caterpillars women, the alienation of Latino/as, the disenfranchisement of African Americans, and the refusal to raise taxes on anyone, ever, in spite of the high costs of maintaining an enormous military-industrial complex that is perpetually in a state of war. As it turns out, this sort of strategy creates factions, factions that are very passionate! Especially when you pretend to be for all manner of “freedom,” unless such freedom involves doing certain kinds of drugs or having abortions or buttseks. In a delightful article called “Republicans Worry About Keeping Factions Reined In,” a New York Times typist helps us learn about all these factions, by interviewing important Republicans and writing down what they say. Read more on GOP Acts Like Total Dems, Whine to New York Times Typist…
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Romney Surrogate John Sununu Regrets Using ‘The Words That Were There’

Well it has been quite a rollercoaster of a week for non-apology apologies, has it not? Like the foreign policy aide who ONLY TWEETS ABOUT CHINAMEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION and THEN that unfortunate “satirical” reference to fried chicken on the Vermont GOP Facebook page that “saddened” everyone involved, and NOW it’s time for our favorite fat, pot-smoking southerner John Sununu to issue HIS non-apology for his own ill-advised commentary. (Don’t worry, Rush, you’re still our favorite fat, oxycontin-guzzling southerner and DON’T YOU CHANGE, man!) Read more on Romney Surrogate John Sununu Regrets Using ‘The Words That Were There’…
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GOP Congressional Hopeful, Star Trek Fan, Thinks People No Longer Die of Breast Cancer or ‘Some Other Things’

Last Thursday (otherwise known as The Day Justice Roberts Killed Freedom) marked the beginning of what will hopefully be a long-lasting trend in American politics, namely, politicians, pundits, and aspiring politicians saying what they think, in public, to reporters or on the air. For example, did you know that this isn’t Europe, which means that we do not care about Poors or the middle class? Or that providing health insurance to people who would otherwise die is just like stealing (*cough* oxycontin *cough*?) from Rush Limbaugh’s mansion? Now it’s Congressional hopeful Chris Collins’ turn, and not only does he seem to be a Trekkie, he ALSO seems to think that people do not die of certain kinds of cancers any more! Ready? READY?? Read more on GOP Congressional Hopeful, Star Trek Fan, Thinks People No Longer Die of Breast Cancer or ‘Some Other Things’…
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Watch This Congressional Fellow Yelling Fast And Furiously About The Rule of Law And Whatnot

What is Congressman Trey Gowdy (R-SC) yelling about today? And if that name seems familiar, it is because he was in the news about a year ago for comparing same sex marriage to incest and on Fox “News” a few days ago referring to Nancy Pelosi as “mind numbingly stupid.” And then a few days after that, he opined that Nancy Pelosi should “see a mental health professional.” Today, however, he has had a rough go of it since the Supreme Court took away his Freedom so he is really letting it all hang out (and the NRO was kind enough to post the video in its entirety because of Journalism.) You see, he just wants the TRUTH about Fast and Furious, is that so much to ask? Just the truth about how some agent got killed (even though as it turns out it maybe wasn’t quite so nefarious?) and the truth about why this is all HAPPENING, is that so much to ask?? IS IT?? Read more on Watch This Congressional Fellow Yelling Fast And Furiously About The Rule of Law And Whatnot…
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Ron Paul: An Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle Wrapped in the Constitution

Yesterday, we learned that noted constitutional scholar Ron Paul accepts and cashes his Social Security check even though it is “unconstitutional.” He did not say why, exactly, Social Security is unconstitutional (although Your Wonkette suspects it has something to do with his poor grasp of a common law system), and so it remains one in a long list of items that Ron Paul thinks is unconstitutional absent any discussion of relevant jurisprudence. Of course, as we all know, ThinkProgress released a 2011 video listing all the things that Ron Paul finds unconstitutional but since then, there have been more! And there are some that ThinkProgress missed!  For example, did you know that sexual harassment is TOTALLY CONSTITUTIONAL but abortion is not? YES. It’s TRUE. So please behold an updated list of the things that would be unconstitutional in a Ron Paul presidency, as well as a list of things that are in fact Constitutional, which will allow for more substantive critical analysis. Read more on Ron Paul: An Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle Wrapped in the Constitution…