Tag Archives: pt cpacalypse

  cpacalypse

The Ocupados Have Arrived At CPAC!

Finally, some action! The Occupy people have reached CPAC and are protesting around this cute kitty furry structure near the driveway. So far no murders, but maybe if the kitty keeps squeezing that worker? Squeeze the worker, Garfield, squeeze him for every last Amero! Oh and that fellow with the long hair at the bottom of the photo, see him? He was bickering back and forth with some business-attired dildos across the driveway, about whether we should “like” the One Percent. No consensus was reached. Read more on The Ocupados Have Arrived At CPAC!…
  cpacalypse

Here’s Your ‘Conservative Comedian’ Interlude

Here’s the beloved Conservative Comedian, Brad Stine, giving his lighthearted send-off to CPAC 2012 DAY 1 yesterday. Your Wonkette would’ve gone to watch him personally but was busy doing anything else. What’s his joke? Americans are such wusses now with their basic car safety measures. Ha! Ehh. If you listen really closely you can hear him say “METH METH COCAINE METH COCAINE METH,” too. Read more on Here’s Your ‘Conservative Comedian’ Interlude…
  cpacalypse

A Children’s Treasury of CPAC Junk & Tchochkes

Day one at CPAC is over! Your Wonkette has already waited in line with Mark Block, the famous cigarette smoker, sat in a lounge near Pam Geller, and not had Internet access for hours at a time. Will you ever see this post, dear readers? Let’s hope for a lil’ CPAC internet connection magick. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of CPAC Junk & Tchochkes…
  cpacalypse

No One Told Us All These Conservatives Would Be At CPAC

Good news: They let us in! Bad News: They let us in. The Marriott Wardman Hotel & Conference Centre is much like a mall where you can’t find anything except the big anchor store, which is Mitch McConnell. But alas, after stepping over a few mass graves, we checked into CPAC for Wonkete.com. Jesus, even Cindy McCain knows there are two T’s. Read more on No One Told Us All These Conservatives Would Be At CPAC…
  cpacalypse

Which Of These Magnificent CPAC Events Should We Attend?

Only one more day until CPAC, and the Revolution! Your Wonkette is pissing its pants just looking at the bill of events and all the exciting opportunities to learn about how dumb liberals are. Why does the bathroom have to be so far away, anyway? Nevermind. Let’s just figure out which of these panel thingies/cocktail sex parties to visit. Read more on Which Of These Magnificent CPAC Events Should We Attend?…
  cpacalypse

Ocupados To Terrorize CPAC To Its Bitter Core

The DC-area Occupy people, having been kicked out of their park this weekend, have a fun new thing in the works: Occupying CPAC. It’s just around the corner, so why not? According to the Occupiers’ website, they will “march to the Marriott” to “create as much non-violent resistance as possible, and make this a conference the attendees will never forget.” So they want pictures with Sarah Palin, got it. But what if this non-violent resistance descends into a bit of the ol’ Ultraviolence? That’s what’s going to happen, according to a hysterical pants-wetting Heritage Foundation blog post. Read more on Ocupados To Terrorize CPAC To Its Bitter Core…