It’s a good thing National Review isn’t a Real American business that need to make money or anything, because otherwise it would go broke after the outrageous decision by its libtard editors to publish a long, detailed and sane deconstruction of the Birther Conspiracy. Of course, none of the NRO cowards would dare sign their actual name to such an outrage against Ron Paul’s Constitution, so it’s just signed by “The Editors” — French for “le pussies.” Really, look at what these socialist zeroes are writing about Nobama: “Like Bruce Springsteen, he has a lot of bad political ideas; but he was born in the U.S.A.” MORE »

It’s Liz Glover! Hi Liz, to whom are you speaking to on the videophone today? Ah, it is Questlove from The Roots, in DC for the Rock the Bells deal, with some important conspiracy theories about Sarah Palin and the RNC! MORE »

Well, people of Detroit, it appears you did not pray hard enough for Monica Conyers, and now she may have to go to jail for a while. The Detroit City Council President Pro Tem and completely insane violent creep Mrs. Conyers, wife of US Representative John Conyers, pleaded guilty to conspiracy this morning in connection with a glamorous case involving the disposal of sludge. She’s accused of taking a bribe from the sludge people in exchange for voting in favor of their contract. MORE »

Texas GOP clown Pete Sessions last made the news when he suggested the doomed Republicans become more like the Taliban. As the modern Republican is already a fundamentalist nut who buggers little boys, hates science, fears women and constantly fantasizes about being killed for/by God, the only thing left was for the remaining wingnuts to move into caves, with their tea bags and their goats. And this may well have happened, as only 21% of Americans reachable by telephone now admit to being Republican. Anyway, now Pete Sessions is saying Obama is intentionally (and magically) causing both unemployment and a decline in the stock markets. True, maybe?! MORE »

For god knows how many years, the evil shadow government FEMA had this weird terror-coloring booklet, for kids, available as a fun PDF download. Then, due to …. hmm, body bags? Domestic concentration camps? Formaldehyde trailers? Black Oil? Bees? Let’s say bees …. MORE »

It’s great that the poor little lonely Obama girls finally got a nice dog that won’t make allergy-prone Malia sick with its dog hair, because it is a special hairless breed. NO WAIT. It is an outrage that the Obama girls were given this dog because it isn’t LEGALLY a “rescue dog.” (Did you know “rescue dog” is a legal term? READ THE CONSTITUTION.) And guess what organization is demanding that Barack Obama personally slice off this dog’s nuts? MORE »

Barack Obama’s goofy, hated British squire Gordon Brown gave a speech earlier as host of the G20 conference, which is already basically over. Boo! He mentioned that since all countries are screwed, because they’re connected, because of globalization, they have all agreed to kick in a few bucks for loans and shit. But then he said, “a New World Order is emerging.” OH NOES. There are already 10 million versions of this clip on YouTube. “we are freaking screwed,” writes YouTube user “spydat3k.” [YouTube]

Whoa hey how’d the Entire News Media miss this one? Especially considering the main things we all jabber about, these days, are stock prices and whatever Jon Stewart said about Jim Cramer …. Anyway, get out your duct tape because a certified American Nazi was building a “dirty bomb” which he apparently planned to explode at Obama’s Inauguration. All the radioactive and bomb-making shit was in his house — you know, the one with the Nazi Flag, in Maine — and his plans were moving along just fine until his wife shot the motherfucker dead, the end? MORE »

Never, ever, ever make jokes in American Politics. Case in Point: Yesterday we laughed about dumb hack John Roberts screwing up the oath, and Barack Obama catching him, yet still saying the “faithfully” in the wrong place. Well, Obama’s goons dragged Roberts to the White House just now and MADE HIM DO IT AGAIN, BUT RIGHT THIS TIME. Good lord. [YouTube]

Oh, this is sweet: Chief Justice John Roberts intentionally (allegedly!) fucked up the Presidential Oath, so the wingnuts could claim Obama really isn’t president, because he said the words in the wrong order. See, not only is Roberts a Republican hack, but Obama voted against his confirmation. But Roberts’ evil plan sort of fell apart, because he was dealing with Barack Obama the famous Constitutional Law Professor. MORE »

Mush-mouthed Fox News hostess Greta Van Susteren — remember her? — is apparently still doing teevee broadcasts about that white gal who disappeared from an island beach resort about 10 years ago. There are people still talking about this! Not anybody you’d know, but still! So, not only does Greta V. continue to have a cable-news program, but she has also been provided with a blog on the FoxNews site. (Hey, even your editor has a blog on the FoxNews site, so it is not that big a deal.) You must read the incredible new conspiracy this person has invented, on her blog, while riding on a train — which prevents her from linking to Internet stories, on her blog, for some reason! Fucking trains! MORE »