COMMENT OF THE DAY: Regarding John Edwards’ long-delayed admission that he knocked up that new-age video gal and made her hide his baby all this time, commenter Vewol Mevemont says, “That child is the grandson of a mill worker.” And that, friends, is made of WIN.

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: Commenting on this ridiculous news that Palin’s shopping around a crappy AM radio talk show, TeddyS provides a chillingly accurate transcript from the near future. MORE »

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In the middle of this monster Palin Chaos Theory post, commenter-person Alaska Girl reminds us why Sarah Palin’s latest “I’m gonna take my ball and go home” move is standard Wasilla Snowbilly behavior: “She didn’t finish her term as mayor, stepping down to run for Lt. Governor. She didn’t finish her term on the petroleum board ethics panel, she resigned in protest and then ran for Governor. She doesn’t want the office, she just likes running for office. She doesn’t want (can’t actually) accomplish anything, she just wants to talk about it.”

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: We liked this one because it was sciency, and in a post about education, too: “Between the lazy fartsack (larval) stage, and the sneering workaholic (adult) phase, there’s also that stoner, introspective, layabout stage, where the whole of America’s college population pupates.” “dennymcden” is Wonkette’s Weekend Hero for using “pupates” in a sentence.

THIS IS DISGUSTING AND DOES NOT ENCOURAGE GOOD COMMENTS: But very funny too! From the FREE ABORTIONS thread we have “mpslim,” a male: “Yes!! I’m not even female, but I think I will have something baby shaped removed from my anus in a symbolic gesture honoring the wonder of abortion.”

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In some post about something or other, a potential human called “Bill” tapped out a comment so weird and confusing that we cannot figure out if he’s a libtard or a wingnut or what! Of course he thinks Wonkette is a “she,” which is pretty normal for these drive-bys, but he gets the Invisible Trophy anyway, because he drove the conversation, off a four-foot cliff, into a cat box. MORE »

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: Wonkette is, above all else, an American Values Blog, and the only American Value that’s not gay is this one: after maniacally firebombing a population, always be sure to airmail a few insufficient aid packages in the general direction of the starving, terrorized refugee masses. That being said, Wonkette will now become the first blog in Internet history to institute a daily feature called “comment of the day,” to reward the day’s Best Comment, as determined by Algebra. We will keep track of how many times individual commenters have won this important award, and at some point when some commenter reaches some number of wins he or she will win some magnificent prize or something. (A liquidation-priced Chrysler SUV?) OH, YOU’RE WELCOME. Today’s winner is… MORE »

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In response to this post about bulbous adulterer crybaby Newt Gingrich twit-bitching about Sonia Sotomayor while he was visiting Auschwitz (!) today, Wonkette commenter GuruKalehuru offered this sad assessment of America’s dumbest fad for old people: “This twitter thing is going to be like the new ‘It was the alcohol talking.’ Or it should.”

COMMENT OF THE DAY: “I remember when Batman told everyone to go shopping and to fly more to fight the Joker. Also, when he gave up golf for a few weeks. That was so brave to do, in this time of terror and war.” [George W. Bush Is Exactly Like Batman]

You know what we haven’t done in a while, due to fatigue or nerves or hangovers or whatever it’s called? A Comment of the Day, that’s what! Let’s do one right now, and honor Mr. or Mrs. NebraskashireGentry for this smart economic advice in response to our tragic 4 a.m. Great Depression II post. MORE »

BY MANCHUCANDIDATE: “In 2007 a crack mercenary company was forced to testify in a senate hearing for a crime they did commit. These men promptly escaped from minimal harsh questioning to their NC compound. Today, still paid by the government, they thrive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find the dough to pay for them, maybe you can hire Blackwater.” [Comments]