Tag: pt cocktober

Gotta have two monitors. One to call sports plays on the radio and one to talk to YOUR SEX BOYFRIENDS.

Gay-Hatin’ Indiana Republican Caught Trolling For Online Dick, What A Shock

You know the old saying: "Scratch a homophobe, but please don't knock the dick out of his mouth, he's not finished yet." (We think that's the saying?) Anyway, meet your new gross Republican gay-sexing scumbag, what doesn't support gay rights,...

New York Rep. Michael Grimm Says He Did Not Sex That Lady In The Toilet

This "Michael Grimm" fellow, remember him? Of course you don't, it is not like he is Ted Yoho or Louie Gohmert, he is just some asshole from New York who apparently was being investigated by the FBI once (we...

Attorney For Pat Robertson’s Anti-Gay Legal Outfit Fired For Alleged Wide Stance With (Possibly) Under-Age Boys

Oh look, a poorly produced video about some guy named “Jim,” a.k.a “our bitch who got us drunk.” (No, not Jim Newell, although we will make him our bitch and let him get us drunk if he asks nicely.)...

Detroit Police Chiefs Just Can’t Stop Doing Sex On Their Lady Cops

Well yikes, etc.! Pictured above is Detroit internal affairs (heh?) officer Angelica Robinson, who tweeted this angsty self-portrait after finding out that her lover, Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee, was sexin' on someone else. Robinson, as you might have...

Blackmail! Nudie Pix! First Cousins/Lovers! Here Is The Best City Goverment In Florida!

'Sup Boynton Beach city commissioner Marlene Ross? Oh, you are totally sure an "evil," "sinister" fellow commissioner has been threatening to extort you over the sexts you sent to your first cousin/lover? And much of the story is given...

South Carolina Has Basically Decriminalized Having Daytime Prostitute Sex In Cemeteries

Meet Roland Corning! Roland Corning, a 65-year-old married man, likes two things: 1. being an assistant district attorney in South Carolina and 2. filling his Ford Explorer with sex medicine and sex toys and 18-year-old prostitutes (for sex) and...

French Culture Minister Loves Doing Thai Boys

Apparently this wasn't much of a news story when France's Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand actually wrote it in 2005, but now that he has supported Roman Polanski, everyone is pointing out the part of his memoir where he admits...

JESUS CHRIST, THIS WAS OLD NEWS: YES FINE OKAY TIPSTERS, Levi Johnston is going to be nakey in Playgirl, according to the new story that is the exact same thing as the story from several weeks ago. See? Lauri...

One Time Andrew Sullivan Boned Some Dude For Like 12 Hours

As bait goes, this one's too easy, and we think that celebrated marijuana pundit Andrew Sullivan knows that, but nevertheless: "I recall one marathon twelve-hour session of passion many years ago now. It was only afterwards that I realized...

Mark Foley Breaks 2-Year Silence

Poor Mark Foley. In olden times (two years ago), he was just another affable barely-closeted gay Republican, well liked by his colleagues and constituents. Then he got caught exchanging sexy instant messages with 17-year-old male pages who were pretty...

Mark Foley Reappears!

Republican hero and proud father of Cocktober Mark Foley hangs out in Beverly Hills, apparently, and chatted with a TV producer and a talent manager who thought he looked familiar. Maybe because he was on CSI or something? He...

Judge Resigns Following Accusations Of Flashing In Starbucks Toilet

O fair Cocktober, ye slayer of perverts and porn-filth fans, ye scourge of bathroom goblins and peen-flashers! Today's Cocktober Update features a judge in Florida who was accused of showing off his man-parts in a Starbucks bathroom on the...

Sexpot Congressman Admits Affair, And Another Affair, And Probably Like 900 Million Other Affairs Too

Democratic Rep. Tim Mahoney, the freshman Congressman who took over gay pedophile Mark Foley's Florida seat in 2006, has confessed that he boned that person Pat, and that he boned another Florida trailer trash county administrator, and that he...

Albany Awash In Sick Porn Filth

Jesus, what are they putting in the water up there? Today's tale of New York politicos embroiled in grody sex scandals brings you Robert Groezinger, a lawyer and aide to a New York state senator, who is accused of...

Tragic Details Of Republican’s Ruined Plans For Sex With Imaginary Children

Yesterday all we knew about this fellow Chris Ortloff was that he had been arrested in a hotel room with some manner of sex devices on his person and an alleged intention to do dirty things to a minor...

Former Upstate NY Politician Arrested In Seedy Motel Kiddie Porn Sting

Three cheers, for Cocktober is in full swing! Some tragic former upstate New York assemblyman and current parole board member was busted for allegedly arranging a date with what he thought would be an underage person but turned out...