These lucky ducklings! All they had to do was spend a mere seven or eight years in prison because they happened to be in Afghanistan when the US invaded, and now they are getting sent to exotic islands all around the world in exchange for their troubles. Yesterday we learned that a bunch of Uighurs were going to Palau, which will melt into the sea soon, and today we find out a handful more have already been settled in Bermuda, known for its wonderful “Triangle” that mysteriously eats people. MORE »

World Cocktail Week: In this city you don’t need an excuse to drink … ever, really. But for those who like to have a reason to get inebriated (helps you fall asleep? totally understandable), it’s World Cocktail Week. According to the Museum of the American Cocktail (note to self: must go there), the Week was established to “promote a better understanding, appreciation, and respect for the cocktail and its history.” If you’re eager to learn what exactly it means to “respect a cocktail,” Proof, Bar Pilar, Sonoma, Sova, and Gibson are all offering specialty cocktails as part of the celebration. MORE »

Thursday, March 19: There will be delicious cocktails and hors d’ oeuvres at Bread for the City’s big fund raising event, “Art with a Heart.” Simply pay the $200 ticket, and you’re in. 6PM at the Capitol Hilton. [BFC] MORE »

We sent our Liz Glover and Jim Newell to the Reason happy hour/cocktail party that the Reason staff has every month to celebrate putting out their monthly issue. And then we waited for the funny report, and the fun video, but it never showed up, so we will just run this transcript that seems to cover what did or didn’t happen. It’s the “new journalism.” MORE »

We asked you to come up with the new D.C. Cocktail of the Now, and good jesus did you people respond. There were a hundred or so actual drink recipes submitted in the comments, and your editors painstakingly tested them all in our elaborate Experimental Bar. The winning choice — with small adjustments by Wonkette and mixologist Scott L of the new Asian Spice restaurant in Chinatown — will amuse your brain, delight your senses and, most importantly, fuck you up. MORE »

There’s a new restaurant opening in Chinatown called “Asian Spice,” and Booze Master ScottL wants you to help create a famous new cocktail. “I would love to put a Wonkettini on the menu and thought it might be amusing if the commenters suggest a tasty libation befitting the name,” ScottL writes. MORE »

* Couple things that belong in To Do: The National Museum of Women in the Arts, the Embassy of Spain and the Embassy of Finland host LIVE CINEMATIC DIPLOMACY tonight. “Cutting edge visual stylings of pioneering Finnish live cinema artist Solu, with DJ Samantha Waldram from Barcelona, Spain. Also performing will be VJ Tesia K of Chicago, with DC’s First Ladies DJ Collective. Drinks and light fare included, in our majestic Great Hall.” $20 at 6PM. [NMWA]
* Acceptance author Susan Coll reads tonight at P&P. She’ll remind you why it rules to not be from DC with her “cheerfully pointed satire about the college-admissions process at a suburban Washington, D.C., high school where students and/or their parents have Ivy League aspirations.” Coll is guest blogging at The Happy Booker today. [The Happy Booker]
* Good news for those who wake up in strange beds tomorrow morning, the Metro opens an hour earlier, at 6AM. [Frozen Tropics]
* People behind Jaleo, Zaytinya, Cafe Atlantico and Oyamel are hiring someone to oversee their recipe database. [DCFUD]
* The Police to play Baltimore April 5th. [LIFESTYLE OF AN AMERICAN ROCK AND ROLL BAND]