It’s been a while since we last checked in on the Washington Post op-ed stable’s elderly “left-center” know-nothing Richard Cohen, the Worst Writer in the World. After a profound month-long streak of weekly 800-word diarrhea baths earlier this year — climaxing with the legendary, “What if Dick Cheney is right?” — Cohen laid low for a while, talked about how nuts George Bush’s Iraq War was for a couple of weeks, safe stuff. NO MORE! Cohen has returned to form triumphantly (sadly) today with just… just a real lousy effort. Man alive. Take your bathroom break *now,* before clicking the clicky, because what you’re about to witness is… a Richard Cohen “concept” column! MORE »

The worst writer in the world, Washington Post landed gentry spokeswoman Richard Cohen, has met Elizabeth Edwards and John Edwards too! “I know John and Elizabeth Edwards — not well, just a bit. I’ve been to their house — the old house, the one in Washington. I had breakfast with them. I found her smart, likable. I never knew what to make of him. A three-dollar bill, I always suspected.” He knew about this all along, basically. “She drove me to where I could get a cab. We talked. What about? Can’t remember. Now this. What to think?” Who fucking knows GAHH! MORE »

The worst writer in America, Richard Cohen — that thoughtless, valueless, condescending, sociopathic sexist poster-boy for the vapidity of the Washington Post’s opinion section — has written such inconsistent snot today that for once, we’re not the only blog making fun of him. He even opened with a smug little “Blogger alert” — “I have written a column in defense of Dick Cheney” — as a holier-than-thou excuse to do no research for his barking, again. The blogs did not pay attention. Others have already pointed out that in his column two weeks ago he declared that torture “unequivocally” works and that any debate about such would be “silly,” while today he writes that despite his disdain (oh?) for Cheney, “I have to wonder whether what he is saying now is the truth — i.e., torture works.” But we thought “wondering” was only something a gay Frenchman would do? MORE »

When Richard Cohen was a child — back in the good old days when people stoically died of everything, and our best days (The Beatles/Civil Rights) were still ahead, and there were bookstores filled not with these Blackberries, but real books, the kind a person could read without a telephone, or a pager, or such things — his psychotic father would push him outside in the middle of the night, on a primitive bicycle (no Prius for him!), its basket loaded with the printed, rubber-banded stacks of wood-pulp produced by our nation’s best newspaper publishers, a torrent of cold rain pounding upon the child’s prematurely white hair, a deadly pothole concealed by a puddle of dirty street water, and then BLAM!, the morning’s papers sinking to the bottom of the asphalt crater, the wood pulp thirstily soaking up the rain juice, the work of America’s better journalists blurring into inky clouds of failure. The elder Cohen, snarling with rage, grabs little Richard and begins lashing him with whatever’s at hand — a garden hose, a dog leash, and finally, savagely, the bicycle chain. This is why GM should fail. MORE »

Spastic curmudgeonly warmonger Richard Cohen, political columnist for the Washington Post, has noticed a number of things in the news over the course of the last week, and he simply does not care for many of these things. He lists these things, one after another, just like that. You young journalists… you go on and get excited now. Here is the master of writing. Richard Cohen. So let’s read a number of things that Richard Cohen wrote today for the local newspaper. MORE »

Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen is maybe the worst writer on Earth, yes? He has never made a valuable point in his life, and the only reason he still has a job is because, uhh, maybe the Post wants him to sexually harass more of their employees? MORE »