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  chris christie

Vulgar Corporate Pig Officially Not Running For GOP Nomination

Well, that’s it! The Republicans’ “Jersey Jesus” of capitalism, gigantic space blob Chris Christie,¬†announced all super-formal like that he will not run for President despite a year’s worth of weepy pleas from the club of Republican insider weiners who begged him with platters of diamond-encrusted donuts and filthy Kochsucker cash to rescue them from the nightmarishly incompetent field of wax-figure knobgoblins stacking the current GOP presidential field. This is Christie’s “definitive” response following a few weeks of tense, feverish piddling from the media over whether he would join the race, which means we should be reading another “Will Christie run even though he is fat?” headline in a couple weeks. Read more on Vulgar Corporate Pig Officially Not Running For GOP Nomination…