Ha ha, remember last Friday, before every bank in America liquidated and the New Depression kicked in and we had to boil our dogs for sustenance? Back in those innocent times, people were still fretting about how John McCain — a man who built a lifetime career on doing shitty things like leaving his crippled wife, consorting with S&L crooks, pandering to racists, and spewing foul invective at anyone who dared question his Honor — was suddenly not acting like his noble old self. So Richard Cohen is really only about 72 hours behind the curve on this one. MORE »

The pastor who presided over the Texas-trash nuptials between Jenna Bush and her husband Mister Butthole is a long-time friend of George W. Bush, but man oh man, he hates the crap out of John McCain. This pastor — a Reverend Kirbyjon(!) Caldwell — supports Barack Obama, weird, and told a bunch of reporters yesterday that John McCain is the worst person in the world — mostly because of that time he suggested his wife join the Miss Bison Shit contest before a crowd of gangbanging bikers, as well as all the crippled wives he’s cheated on in his life. MORE »

Liberals are very upset with John McCain, again, because it appears he has PLAGIARIZED the famous website Wikipedia in his speech about Georgia and Russia. John McCain is using Wikipedia! That’s all we care about and are very happy to learn that he’s discovered this completely awesome and accurate website. But as some of those rascally bloggers have discovered, McCain used such words and dates as “in,” “of,” “economic,” and “1922″ in much the same sequence that Wikipedia used them in a historical laundry list of facts! It’s like he’s writing a college history paper’s “background” section in the post-2005 era — by copy-pasting it from any damn website, because who cares. MORE »

The White House, perhaps impressed with Barack Obama’s success, has plagiarized his greatest asset: plagiarism. Timothy S. Goeglein — a special assistant to President Bush — referenced Eugene Rosenstock-Hussey, an elitist Northeastern ex-professor at Dartmouth College, in a column he penned for the News-Sentinel newspaper. After referencing this guy, Goeglin decided to plagiarize an entire 10-year-old essay someone else had written about Rosenstock-Hussey. Why has Barack Obama not apologized for this? MORE »

You catch him once, he gets suspended for a semester, then goes on academic probation, and then he plagiarizes horribly again. Will Barack Obama ever learn that Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick has copyrights on every word? Apparently not, since he may have stolen yet another whole two sentences from Patrick. MORE »

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It is, apparently, the occasion of the annual George Bush Cape Arundel Classic amateur golf tourney up in Maine. 41 hosted special guest William Jefferson Clinton for a friendly 18 holes in the name of some sort of charity. We like to imagine Bill playing like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack, but apparently (according to an anonymous tipster at some blog), he’s not that entertaining of a cheater: MORE »