Call it the Road to Recovery, you queer fink motherfuckers: a web ad from the RNC, to commemorate Obama’s 100 days of Famine, posted yesterday and immediately pulled for being terrible. Watch what appears to be a Southern white man doing his “blacky voice” over video of Obama’s inauguration speech. MORE »

A Hill staffer informs us that the Congressional Mail Room Security People are starting to go Code Mango on all tea bag anthrax letters, which is a tragedy, because now staffers can’t send us comical photos of the tea bags (unless they’re faxes!) And no more free treats for these poor worker bees! There’s always Nestle chocolate milk to steal, though. MORE »

Oh goodness goodness goodness, everyone else on the Morning Joe set giggles nervously and says, “UMMMMM” after Joe Scarborough very casually says “Fuck you.” Even Mike Barnacle is scandalized! And then Joe Scarborough apologizes: “Great apologies, my wife is going to kill me.” He will be sent to Guantanamo for this. [YouTube]

The McCain website has this fantastic new feature in which you design your own “Joe the Plumber” anger bear sign, about taxes. As the example above demonstrates, however, there is high potential for CHILDISH ABUSE with this thing, and so far we’ve submitted nine different signs that the website *promised* to e-mail to us, and none of them have come. Not even our most benign — dare we say courteous? — submission, “I am Walnuts the fucktard.” We give up. Now you people go ahead and try, and if you get any good ones past the filter demons, please send them our way. [John McCain]

A Wonkette St. Louis Radio Spy sends us a thrilling update on the John Ashcroft Saliva Auction, now taken down from eBay because it was too sexy for mainstream tastes. Our dreams of cloning a personal army of Ashcroft Sex Robots is slowly dimming. The sad report straight from a listener’s ears, after the jump. MORE »

Do you know who Lou Dobbs, the orange-headed anti-Mexican elitist, hates more than The Illegals? Cotton-pickin’ politicians such as Condoleezza Rice! You see, “cotton-pickin’” refers to people who pick cotton, and is a term of derision used by angry old men of a certain age who prefer arcane insults over nice all-purpose Anglo-Saxon adjectives. Fortunately for Dobbs, he stops himself midway through this terrible slur and avoids touching that tar baby. [YouTube via TPM]

New York Times‘ health care columnist Paul Krugman wrote a column today, it being a Friday and such, and it’s about our flourishing economy. But the real Paul Krugman, the whiny ex-Nobel contender we’ve enjoyed so thoroughly this Democratic primary season, offered his juiciest insight in a brief blog post this morning: one time the Times edited him! Since when does the Times edit Krugman (or anyone else)? MORE »

Oh hey those FASCISTS at FOX censored SALLY FIELD. We figure she owes them big-time because jesus christ that’s one crazy lady. These awards shows are on a short broadcast delay so that when whatever crazy actor starts screaming “FUCK JESUS” it can be bleeped so poor people won’t lose their faith or whatever — the Flying Nut apparently said “goddamned war.” Anyway, if your MOM RULED THE WORLD it would kind of suck, too. Also, this is apparently from last night. Sally Field’s still alive? Did they finally make “Smokey and the Bandit IV?”

Sally Field, Ray Romano bleeped at Emmys [Reuters]

Some people called “The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression” have released their list of honorees for this year’s charmingly-named “muzzle awards.” The awards are for “calling attention to some of the more egregious or ridiculous affronts to free expression that occurred in the preceding year,” and there’s no shortage of outage in the list. Take, for example, the chilling tale of the Maine Bureau of Liquor Enforcement. MORE »

America’s proudest employees — the people of the Department of Housing and Urban Development — got a rude surprise yesterday when they tried to catch up on housing and urban development developments by reading Wonkette. MORE »

Again with the military blocking Wonkette so our fighting forces won’t be exposed to inane exchanges from Late Night Shots. A Wonkette operative at a U.S. Army base in Europe sent us this shocking evidence. We asked the soldier to try some other political sites and report back, but he hasn’t answered because the Army killed him, probably. MORE »