Here’s a very controversial ad from Liddy Dole in North Carolina, where she will probably lose her Senate seat for being annoying. Oh and look, the exact O.E.D. definition of “desperation” just happens to be this video’s YouTube description: “A new ad from U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole attacks Kay Hagan for attending a fundraiser hosted by people tied to an atheist group.” The end of this video asks, “She hid from cameras, took godless money. What did Hagan promise in return?” …to kill Jesus?? [YouTube]

Not that Al Franken is any great shakes, but you’d think that if the NRSC wanted to put out a “Hollywood Stars against Franken”-themed ad then they could’ve drummed up a better coterie than a forgotten SNL cast member from 20 years ago, a lesser Baldwin, two other guys we’ve never heard of in our lives, and finally the big showstopper: a cheesy singer famous for stealing rock & roll songs from black people in the ’50s so that they could be repackaged into powdery, “family-friendly” background noise. The NRSC also decided to have this very old Pat Boone appear without a shirt, because he is fishing in his swimming pool. If only we had Lawrence Welk around to do the old flapping dickey, then we’d have a show! [YouTube]

BACHMANN TO ADDRESS NATION: Ah, this is a typical thing people do when they are UTTERLY FREAKING OUT about their entire careers: “Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) has taped an advertisement apologizing for her televised comments calling Barack Obama anti-American, according to a Republican source familiar with her campaign’s decision.” It is still staggering that this one dingbat appearance on Hardball finally did the trick, after daily doses of such standard Bachmannia for the last two years. [Politico]

Mitch McConnell has had a few iffy polls in the last few weeks for his Senate re-election bid in Kentucky, so now he’s cold rampin’ up the attacks on his Democratic opponent, “Lunsford.” In this ad, he hammers Lunsford by… uhh… calling Chuck Schumer a filthy Jew for a full minute. Sure, why not? [YouTube]

Here’s a new ad from those wacky jesters over at the RNC. It attacks Barack Obama for supporting the bailout that the House approved yesterday. Yes, that’s right: two (2) problems here. John McCain supported the bailout and, according to the man himself, made other House Republicans vote for it. And the bailout, as you may recall, didn’t pass. What gives? Oh that SILLY RNC: “The Republican National Committee’s new advertisement critical of the the Wall Street ‘bailout’ was produced and sent to television stations in key states before the package failed, officials at two stations said.” [YouTube, Ben Smith]

This new Republican National Senatorial Committee ad against Minnesota candidate Al Franken calls him a rape-lover who loves to rape white women or really rape anything; rapes boys, rapes pandas, even rapes himself when he’s out of other things to rape. Rape rape rape rape raper rap erp rae peraraep. The rape ad tells us that his rape porn is “so vile” that even the rapey DEMOCRATS denounced it, the Democrats, the terrible insect-raping Democrats. And that’s why Al Franken’s in teevee rapist jail at the end of the ad: for raping rape. [YouTube]

Here’s the latest ad from the New Barack Obama, who’s nothing more than a big meanie. It’s responding to an independent ad from BornAliveTruth.org that claimed Barry voted to KILL LIVE BABIES — ones that have actually popped out of the vag! — during his pitiful tenure as a state senator. Obama directly blames this smear on the McCain campaign as yet another “DESPICABLE LIE.” Why is this fruitball Barack Obama suddenly trying to play politics? [YouTube]

Walnuts’ new ad, “Dome,” warns the American people that Barack Obama will grow the size of the actual U.S. Capitol to cover the whole eastern seaboard. He will do this with steroids. And then this Obama will go to your house and FUCKING SMOTHER YOUR WHITE CHILDREN TO DEATH. Ha ha, good! All kids deserve to die. [YouTube]

Here’s a budget commercial for a small-town plumbing and carpentry business… oh no it’s a political ad! And it’s Sarah Palin’s first political ad, in fact, from her mayoral campaign in the global city of Wasilla. The background music is some cheap ’70s parlor jazz straight out of your favorite wood-paneled cocktail lounge, and Sarah pushes her kids on the damn municipal swing set. And if you swing just high enough on that swing set, you can see Russia and its nukes. Know? [YouTube]

The McCain campaign has farted out this new ad which, impossibly enough, is the least offensive spot we’ve seen from Walnuts in a while. And yet, so offensive, still! He tells us that Barack Obama’s only solutions for the financial collapse are “talk and taxes.” His very next sentence is, “I’ll reform Wall Street and fix Washington” — two crisp, granular economic policy proposals to contrast Obama’s cerebral, tax-and-spend hippie blather. Finally, Walnuts says, “I’ve taken on tougher guys than this before.” What ever could that mean? [YouTube]

GAHHHH!!! Sweet crickets, Mister “Senator” Gordon Smith, you are scarier than eight Oregon rapists combined with this ad. [WSJ]