A Republican candidate for Georgia governor in 2010, John Oxendine, e-mailed political reporters about some epic YouPorn thing he had just shot, one that would destroy the Democratic candidate, former governor Roy Barnes, politically: “A campaign spokesman said the ad ‘demonstrates John Oxendine’s commitment to using innovative, cutting-edge genre to communicate serious messages in creative mediums.” He would reveal this monumental achievement at an event later Thursday night, according to the press release, “at an undisclosed laser-tag facility … closed to the public. After viewing the commercial, the volunteers will enjoy pizza and laser-tag.” Oh, we’re so making you click the clicky for this one… MORE »

Oh, how we are looking forward to the midterm elections! They’re the most fun: dozens of close races where we couldn’t care less about who wins, each defined by some hilarious racist remark or decades-old hotel affair or nutty family member. OR — as is the case in this rare 2009 election, for New Jersey governor — weight. “Political experts” monitoring the race between Jon Corzine and Republican Chris Christie have been wondering for a while now whether Christie’s campaign will sink under his massive massive super-fat insanely obese body. The Fats have rarely done well in elections — it’s true! — at least in the modern era, when male fatness stopped being a symbol of wealth and power and Land. So, is Corzine playing the “fat card” against his fat opponent, in his new ad? MORE »

Your other editor Sara wrote earlier about how every governor candidate in Virginia has taken a shine to this hilarious & false idea that prison officials closely monitor third-grade test scores to determine how many jails they’ll need for the Dumbs in 15 years. But only Terry McAuliffe went ahead and made it into an insane teevee advertisement! The final product (which your male associate editor wrote about this morning at length for his NBC racketeering gig) proved to be McAuliffe’s most twisted, hilarious failed attempt at pretending to be a real human being yet, in a life and campaign defined by such attempts. “Pre-k now or prison later!” Nice one, sociopath! [NBC Washington]

Oh dear, poor Chuckles. His Senate challenger, Wingnut #A, has already thrown together his first secretly-has-gay-overtones attack ad against the orange governor, who is shown “embracing” Barack Obama, intimately, maybe with his mouth. Or are we reading into this too much? Obviously! But still, OY. Being secretly gay will not make this a fun year-long primary season for Charlie Crist. [The Plum Line]

“September 11, 2001,” this infamous NRCC ad displays immediately. “It was a national tragedy.” And then, of course, it proceeds to exploit that fact for political gain in the New York 20th District, where Democrat Scott Murphy and Republican Jim Tedisco are fighting for Sen. Kirsten “Caroline Kennedy” Gillibrand’s old House seat, with a special election to be held on Tuesday. Ha ha, look at all the terrorists, they are very scary, and brown, and this liberal Murphy guy loves them and 9/11 so much that he won’t even compromise his opposition to capital punishment for well-known cases. [YouTube]

Hey look it’s wacky Terry McAuliffe’s first ad for governor of Virginia, the first of the 2009 season! It aired during the Super Bowl in select Virginia markets (”Hell”). Basically he tells Virginia that if he wins, then Hillary Clinton will stage a big primary comeback in Puerto Rico and we’ll all get wasted. [Terry McAuliffe, Washington Post]

Politics magazine will release the results of their “2008 campaign poll of political insiders” this Thursday, but we already know the winner of one category: best ad of the presidential race. It is Hillary Clinton’s “3 a.m.” ad, the one about how Hillary Clinton was the only person who could answer a telephone at night without getting us all killed, or raped. Mark Penn was the “thrust” behind this successful ad, which you may have read about in any column Mark Penn has written since then. Hell, Mark Penn’s company even conducted this Politics poll, ha ha! No, seriously, that’s actually true. We can’t wait to see the winners of other categories, such as Best Thing Written (Microtrends), Worst Thorn In One’s Side (Harold Ickes/Patti Solis Doyle tie) and Best Floating Film Script In Hollywood (Microtrends Part I: Pages 1-74). [WP/The Fix]

How could we let Thanksgiving end without sharing C.S.A. Colonel Saxby Chambliss and family’s warm regards? What a lovely surprise! And the children! They tell us to vote for their “Big Daddy,” gross. “Big Daddy” responds with a white-knuckled clench of the little girl’s breast. [YouTube]

Do you see this, America? If you vote “yes” on California Prop 8, YOU are authorizing Mitt Romney to come into your evil lesbian household and sniff your panties. [YouTube]

Oh ho ho, that Pennsylvania GOP has discovered some crazy black preacher in Obama’s past just in time for election day, thank heavens. Whoa… we’re only a few seconds into the deal and man oh man, this guy is nuts! What is he talking about, “God Damn America!” HOW COULD HE SAY THAT?? Boy howdy he just keeps on going! If only the Obama campaign had gotten this guy out of the way earlier, say, in March, amidst a tumultuous primary battle in this very same Pennsylvania. Then the damage might have been done, and no one would care right now! [TPM]

Whoa. This response to Liddy’s Dole’s “Kay Hagan once attended a fundraiser where she talked to some guy who was involved with an atheist organization that actually killed Jesus” ad is probably one of the best of the year — direct, succinct, zippy, and unusually sexy. This Kay Hagan is pretty great and we hope she beats that old dingbat crow. Then she can go to Congress and release videos to Osama saying, “Now listen sir, you just stop this nonsense and get with the program, we expect your surrender by morning, the end.” And he’ll do it! [YouTube]