Tag Archives: pt California Über Alles

  California Über Alles

Carly Fiorina In Hospital, Meg Whitman Concedes To Governor Brown

Let’s check in with our California Bureau to see what’s going on with all the hawt governor races and Senate races and the Marijuana Legalize It law and other such concerns in the world’s fifth sixth seventh ninth tenth biggest failed economy. First, the Republican lady who destroyed so many lives in California, Carly Fiorina, is in the Hospital! She has some scary infection related to her cancer surgery. It would be a shame if this is what makes her lose to Barbara Boxer, because Fiorina is such a vapid mean-girl dolt that it’s basically unfair to Breast Cancer if her Poor Health trumps the many other reasons she is completely unqualified to serve in the Senate. Also, Meg Whitman accidentally and hilariously made a commercial endorsing Jerry Brown for governor! Read more on Carly Fiorina In Hospital, Meg Whitman Concedes To Governor Brown…
  California Über Alles

Liveblogging the Jerry Brown-Meg Whitman Heat-Wave Death Match

Should we liveblog the Jerry v. Meg death match? Well, we just held an election on Twitter and we won with 99.7% of the vote! So join us at 6PM California Death-Heat Time for the California Gov Debate, starring the Jedi monk Jerry Brown (of California’s famous 1970s) and that person whose face is on every commercial and Internet ad, because she is literally spending hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars to run for governor of a bankrupt state everybody is fleeing, Meg Whitman (of the 1990s Dot-Com bubble). Read more on Liveblogging the Jerry Brown-Meg Whitman Heat-Wave Death Match…
  California Über Alles

Former Gov. Jerry Brown Running For Governor Again, Vows To Defeat Demon Sheep

Remember this guy? Probably not, right? Well he was governor of California in the 1970s, when he was also banging the hell out of Linda Ronstadt, in a trashy apartment across the street from the governor’s mansion in Sacramento. What happened to Jerry? He lost all that hair, for one thing, and he also lost the Democratic nomination to Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton — but he really dragged it out in ’92, winning 596 delegates at the DNC that year and using his prime-time convention speech to call Clinton a piece of trash. Read more on Former Gov. Jerry Brown Running For Governor Again, Vows To Defeat Demon Sheep…