Tag Archives: pt buh-bye

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Fred Phelps Is In Heaven Now, Calling The Apostles Faggots

Wait, you are saying, how could the world’s most out-and-proud bigot, who purposely inflicted emotional pain on the innocent, be in HEAVEN? Wonket, this must be that “satire” or “snark” of which we’ve heard so much? Sorry dudes, but according to our junior high nuns, if you act according to your sincere beliefs, you are not a sinner, and you get to enjoy eternal bliss at the feet of the Father, whether you are Catholic, Hindoo, Godless atheist, or Fred Phelps. And if Fred Phelps did anything, it was act according to his sincere beliefs. Since our nuns — who showed us Romero, told us sex was a beautiful gift from a loving God, and were general all-around-communists who were right about everything — were obviously (like we just said) right about everything, what does that mean for the “Reverend” Fred Phelps’s enjoyment of eternal love? Let’s fagsplore. Read more on Fred Phelps Is In Heaven Now, Calling The Apostles Faggots…
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Gay Mafia Forces Obama To Cancel Presidential Inauguration; Hugo Chavez To Take Oath Of Office Instead

Like all meaningless ceremonies in Washington (and there are lots), this year’s presidential inaugural has been beset by controversy. And like all controversies in Washington (and there are lots), this was easily avoided by not doing exactly the same thing the last time this issue came up. Yes, once again, President Obama’s inaugural committee appointed a pastor with a history of less-than-friendly attitudes toward the gays (or as Your Wonkette believes they prefer to be called, “them”) to deliver the benediction when he takes the oath of office. Read more on Gay Mafia Forces Obama To Cancel Presidential Inauguration; Hugo Chavez To Take Oath Of Office Instead…
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Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him

Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the GOP. Had he himself not shit the bed? Was he not the master of his own destiny? How come nobody was blaming him for the Republican Party smashing itself to pieces? Well, the Tea Party was, but did they even count, with their manmade, unbreathable fabrics and their slipcovered couches? No, for Mitt Romney to be blamed properly, it must be by the Elite, not the anti-government warriors scraping by month to month on their disability checks. Read more on Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him…