Here’s the latest idiot, South Carolina state senator David Thomas (of Wendy’s fame!), who appears to have launched a 2010 congressional bid. His Twitter feed is loaded with goods: “Green tea (OK it’s Chi Comm stuff…shame, shame) is good sub every now and then for even MY fresh ground French roast… FRENCH,” “The Supreme Leader says I HAVE to get ready for work. Yes dear,” and, good god, “If anyone comes upon an article on the authority of the Fed, eg the Economist, please let me know.” Nice breeding, South Carolina. [Twitter via Indigo Journal]

Nancy Pelosi sweeps from the upper right corner in stealth and drops seven buckets of napalm on Pete Hoekstra, a martyr. But just before Pete passes, as the fire consumes his eyes, he grabs Texas Rep. John Culberson by his tattered lapels. “I… I want you to take this back, to my family,” Hoekstra whispers to Culberson — his comrade, his Brother — and hands him a BlackBerry. “It is… locked… you have to press… star + send… what?… no no no…. ’send,’ I said… the little green telephone button… no, you have to press… press them simultaneously… there you go… now you must Twitt…” He dies. But Culberson knows. [Twitter]

Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s hiding under his desk in the dark, smoky House chamber, chewing on some rocks. It’s 2008. The boys are locked in, demanding their freedom, their birthright, to pass insane offshore drilling legislation during a Congressional vacation. Mean old Nancy Pelosi and a few other Democrat Socialists hover overhead in pods, firing mortars and dropping paint cans of napalm, everywhere, to suppress the revolt… but they must keep fighting, because Andrew Sullivan wants them to or whatever. [Twitter]