Tag Archives: pt blame canada

  blame canada

Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian

Ivy-league graduate and Harvard Law Review editor Ted Cruz is a startling example of how a Grade A Dumbass can become a U.S. Senator. From Texas, but it still counts. Apparently, despite attending Princeton for undergrad and Harvard for law school, this guy had no idea that being born in Canada makes one a Canadian citizen, even though he himself was that guy who was born in Canada and was therefore a Canadian citizen. If only there was some sort of World Wide InterConnected Web of Electronic Pages one could consult to learn about these things. Someone should get on that. Well, the dual-citizen is finally unburdening himself of his Canadian heritage, allowing him to proudly declare that he is an American and only an American. Per The Hill: “Now the Dallas Morning News says that I may technically have dual citizenship,” Cruz said in a statement. “Assuming that is true, then sure, I will renounce any Canadian citizenship.” Although technically, you are still a giant asshole, but we aren’t sure there is a form you can fill out to renounce that.  Read more on Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian…
  blame canada

Why Won’t Canada Let This Michigan Man Just Cold Shoot People All The Time, For Whatever?

Walt Wawra has a problem. He went to Canada with his wife, and while they were there, two gentlemen approached them — in broad daylight! — and asked if they had been to the Stampede yet. When they did not answer, the men asked AGAIN. Why won’t Canada let Mr. Wawra shoot this clearly criminally minded pair? The fuck, CANADA? Read more on Why Won’t Canada Let This Michigan Man Just Cold Shoot People All The Time, For Whatever?…
  blame canada

Governor Asks Shooters Pretty Please Self-Regulate While Utah Burns Because Of Shooters

OK cowboys and cowgirls, gather ’round the semi-automatic campfire for a heartwarming story of the destruction of land, homes and wildlife in the great American state of Utah. Here’s the story in a nutshell: Utah’s “Dump Fire” (so named because it was set off by some Utahans target shooting at a dump) is only 30% contained and has so far destroyed 4200 acres, with 9000 people evacuated from their homes and a threat that the fires will take down the power grid for 7000 homes. In a state that has the mostest laxiest gunnery laws in the U. S. of A. and has been called a factory for concealed-weapon permits for out-of-state gun owners (in 2011, out of 347,262 active permits, 200,525 belong to nonresidents), the governor is, well, outgunned and can do nothing but beg like a weasel for gun owners to “self-regulate.” Read more on Governor Asks Shooters Pretty Please Self-Regulate While Utah Burns Because Of Shooters…
  blame canada

Barack Obama Is President Of … Canada

Hey Canada, what’s up? Oh, you like that Barack Obama? Yeah, it figures, being as you’re kind of quasi-Europeans. Except for Alberta, we guess. And probably the “Northwest Territories,” where the Snow King lives. Oh, you really like Barack Obama? You want him to be president of your own … uh, whatever it is, commonwealth or something? Looks like you people love Our Barry more than any of your own lame leaders. And it looks like you don’t love John McCain at all, with just 3% of you naming Ol’ Walnuts as the politician you admire. [CTV.CA] Read more on Barack Obama Is President Of … Canada…