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Old News

• Jose Canseco Grows His Steroid-Shrunken Testes Enough To Tweet Rape Accuser’s Phone Number, Like A Man
• New Children’s Book Explains Why Heather’s Two Mommies Will Burn Forever In Hell
• Republicans Knew About IRSgate Too, Will Now Have To Investigate Themselves
• Sarah Palin ‘Lives In Fear’ Of IRS, We Wonder Why?
• Black Republican Virginia Lt. Gov Nominee Loves Segregation, Being Three-Fifths Of A Person
• Who Is John McCain Yelling At Now? (Hint: It Is Republicans)
• Separating Fiction From Even Weirder Fiction: A Special Fun Wonkette Quiz About The Weather
• No Buttsechs For Gay Messicans After All