pt barry can you hear me?
Barack Obama Broke An Intern’s Heart
Barack Hussein Obama is the greatest president in the history of ever, and those who do not show him adequate fealty are instantly thrown into the Den of Despair (i.e., Joe Biden’s hamper full of dirty boxer briefs.) Let us journey now into Wonkette’s very own “Week in Review”-esque weekly review of our Dear Leader’s [...]
Barry Hates Riding In Cars With Boys
Greetings, liberal larvae! I hope you enjoyed your Dear Leader’s Most Sacred and Honorable Birthday Week in the appropriate fashion: prostrating yourself at the Virgin of Obamalupe altar you’ve built in the corner of your shack with colorful tin cans and wee little milagros depicting Michelle, Sasha and Malia with glorious halos. Other things happened [...]
Barack Will Never Give You A Follow Friday
Why hello, liberal political fetus monsters! It’s time once again for the only weekly feature on the Internet, “Barry Can You Hear Me?” In case you are new to this game, this is the special place where we celebu-stalk Barack Obama via God’s own newsreel, West Wing Week. Let us see what this terrible (black) [...]
Barry Is Officially Your BEST PRESIDENT EVAR
Haha, what “happened” this week in Barack Obama’s life? Nothing of great import, surely! Except for OWNING comedy and OWNING assassination, that is! That weird scraping sound you hear is the sound of Barry’s GIANT BALLS being dragged around the country, while we collectively open wide our American Mouthhole to lovingly teabag him in the [...]
Barry Obama’s Donnie Darko ‘Easter’ Adventure
Greetings, asshandlers! ‘Tis I, the greatest of Friday authoresses, here to impart wisdom and Journalistik Insightz about something other than the fucking Great White Wedding of the Year. While it is funzies to watch a nice rich inbred “English” boy whose real surname is “Saxe-Coburg and Gotha” mix up the gene pool with fresh blood [...]
Barack Obama Is Your Prophet and Savior of All Beautiful Things
What a week, amiright? Whew! The handsomest president on Earth traveled around the country doing handsome presidential things, while we ended common decency forever and also GLEE returned! Let us dive into the deep pit of sexy that is Barack Obama’s daily shed-jewel. We will be sure to speak slowly and use tiny words in [...]
This column is a tribute to the handsomest man on Earth, Barack Hussein Syriana Obama, but it is also an ode to our nation’s finest pornographic weekly serial, West Wing Week. Come now, and fap away as I unveil the newest seductive visual pleasures from this hot, frothy source of political propaganda.
The Libyans Won’t Steal Barry’s DeLorean
Aloha, unrepentant liberals! ‘Tis I, your noble weekly columnist, showing up for work for frigging once. I’ve been writing a book so as to pay the bills in this roaring U.S. economy. Bills are of course the toasters in the bathtub of the world, and my fear of them is commensurate only with my love [...]
The Butt-Touching of Our 44th President
It is the customary habit of your authoress to commence her weekly Barack Obama fan kkkolumn with various nasty comments about you, her loyal and handsome readership. This week, she wishes to begin in a spirit of love and compassion, for this is the way of the Christ. It is too bad you are such [...]
Barack Obama Won’t Stop Crashing Science Fairs
Alright, you knuckle-biting asshandlers, it’s time for your favorite Pulitzer Prize-winning kolumn to return with a sexy vengeance! Yes, fapping masses, your weekly investigative report/breathless Obamarrr fanfic installment is back. I’ve been busy traveling to tell jokes and do filthy things with your D.C.-based Wonketteers (and also Jim Newell.) Here is what Muamarbama Barackfi did [...]
Hello! Would you like to know what your President Mahmoud Barack Hussein Al-Bama did this week? Well, this column will tell you everything in vast, accurate detail, based on Official White House Videographer Arun Chaudhary’s weekly pornographic Inter-tubes serial. But let us imagine instead that you would perhaps be more interested in a WEST WING [...]
The Week Barack Obama Loved Salmon and Bears
Greetings, stains. It’s Friday, and that means it’s time for another examination of President Barry Hussein Soetero’s least un-American cracktivities. This week, my Internutz were all afouled up, because I live in Egypt, apparently. As a result, I relied not on my beloved “West Wing Week” (sorry Arun C.!) and instead defected to the Jake [...]
Barry Gives Richard Gere The Finger
It is no secret that this column relies heavily on the contributions of your Official White House Videographer, one Arun Chaudhary. It is also no secret that this columnist (Richard Cohen with bigger tatas) becomes enraged when Arun thinks it is okay to go away to places like Sudan and not put up a brand-new [...]
This weekly “column,” as they called it when newspapers were still printed, is a place to say funny, crazy, foul and often highly sexual things about our handsome preznit (and, occasionally, his staff.) Generally, your authoress is dependent upon the mad videography skillz of one Arun Chaudhary, Official White House Videographer and In-House Paparazzo. But [...]
Barack Obama and Other Persons Have Resolutions To Share
Like Jesus Christ, Official White House Videographer Arun Chaudhary is generous in the extreme. His marvy White House propaganda tool West Wing Week is usually a breathless account of your handsomest president’s every holy facial tic and sacred bowel movement. But this week, Arun pulls back the curtain and introduces us to some lesser-known public [...]
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