You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for Bill Clinton. [The Awl via ... North Korea Propaganda Office, maybe?]

The American Israel Public Affairs Committee — you know, the lobbying group that secretly writes all of our legislation — recently made headlines when allegations surfaced that Rep. Jane Harman (D-Warblog) had promised to ask the Bush White House to go easy on a couple of AIPAC guys accused of spying. Anyway, this notion that Harman is not just in bed with AIPAC but is literally having sex with it deep into the night and making loud erotic noises that disturb the neighbors was probably not helped by a new announcement. MORE »

What is this “chairman’s prerogative” John Kerry is invoking here? Gross. [YouTube]

Make sure you’re sitting down and wearing like 20-25 straitjackets when you read this: “At this defining–” blah blah blah we’re bored, you’re bored, enough. Don’t read the rest of this two-paragraph statement, it’s gross! Hint: there are only two proper nouns (the excitin’ ones!) in it: “Washington” and “Americans.” Obviously they talked about neither of those things! Just watch that hilarious video again instead. Check out the shot about halfway through of gay Lindsey Graham staring at hunky Obama and thinking, “All we need is a bottle of ranch dressing and some firecrackers, and I’ve already got the ranch.” [Ben Smith]

Ha ha John McCain’s new boyfriend is a terrible media whore! Joe the Plumber has successfully converted his 15 milliseconds of fame into a COUNTRY MUSIC RECORDING CONTRACT and a live televised shotgun wedding on November 4th to Sarah Palin’s sixth baby, “Trotsky,” on top of a melting ice floe. MORE »

Oh God Joe Biden is hilarious. He cannot go more than 45 minutes without saying something incredibly awkward. Fortunately, he is so used to making embarrassing remarks that he’s like, “Enh, well, start the clock again people!” and just moves on to the next GAFFE. His Secret Service code name is Gaffey McGaffesalot, because he makes so many gaffes, even in his dreams where he makes rude remarks to articulate wheelchair-bound Indian operators of 7/11s while plagiarizing the Constitution. [Gawker/Daily Intel/YouTube]

Here’s a new ad from Republican Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith, who faces a tough re-election bid this year against Jeff Merkley, the bore who barely defeated that awesome little pirate hobbit in May’s Democratic primary. Smith’s ad here is the latest of his to compare himself to — gasp — Barack Obama and John Kerry! Is Oregon really so liberal that a Republican has to pretend he’s friends with two gay socialists? Anyway, this video is mostly funny because Smith never looks into the camera, and sometimes looks down, and everyone feels awkward. [YouTube]

MCCAIN VOLUNTEER CALLS MCCAIN A SLAVEDRIVER: This video at CNN is pretty funny, and we’d embed it here if stupid CNN actually had that feature. Now you will have to make an extra click, suckaz. It’s John McCain taking a question from one of his volunteers, a (satirical?) New Yorker who starts gently and proceeds to curse at him for the way he treats his volunteers (like shit). McCain, naturally, interrupts her with several “wisecracks” to lighten the mood. This is his only half-decent political skill, and it fails miserably here, ha ha. [CNN]

This is what you’ve been training for for six years. (AP)

As we read this Times piece on the creepy hug the President shared with a Merchant Marine Academy grad, we couldn’t help but wonder: are you sure Bumiller’s on book leave?

Mr. Bush, wearing a quizzical expression, responded by raising his arms as well and moved in for a hug. The midshipman — almost unwittingly — found himself squeezing the president in his powerful arms. When the president caught his breath, he shook Mr. Whitney’s hand.

The graduate, Gabriel “Bluto” Whitney, received his degree after six years of undergrad and an impressive 4,872 demerits. President Bush promptly appointed him head of the OMB.

Couple more weird AP shots, after the jump.

A Graduate So Happy, He Hugged the Speaker [NYT]

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