Tag Archives: pt another one bites the dust

  another one bites the dust

Alaska District Court Undermines The Sanctity Of Bristol Palin’s Marriage

Image via Celebrities in Disgrace Another state falls to the scourge of recognizing that gay Americans are just like not-gay Americans and therefore deserve all the same rights, just like regular Americans, because they are regular Americans. This time, the honor goes to¬†up there in Alaska. Read more on Alaska District Court Undermines The Sanctity Of Bristol Palin’s Marriage…
  another one bites the dust

In Fatal Blow To Rick Santorum, Pennsylvania Will Now Begin Gay Marriage Throat-Cramming

So unless you do not have the internets or are really really afraid of the gays, you know that yesterday a federal judge struck down Pennsylvania’s gay marriage ban. Do you know how much gay marriage throat cramming that makes? It makes so much throat cramming that we cannot even keep track any longer and had to go to Wikipedia to figure out how many states were going to make you get all gay married against your will. Short answer: non-homosexxicans, you are running out of room. Gays gonna be errrywhere soon. With all the gay gayness happening, we’d kind of forgotten that the Pennsylvania decision was even pending, which is a shame since our boy Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is one of Pennsylvania’s finest worst achievements, and you just have to imagine that he is on his knees trying to rip his own heart out and sacrifice it to God just to make all the gayness stop. But it will never stop. In fact, if any of you homosexxican commenters hail from Pennsylvania, it’s your sacred duty to go find Rick Santorum right now and force him to gay marry you this very day. Bring your dog, of course. Read more on In Fatal Blow To Rick Santorum, Pennsylvania Will Now Begin Gay Marriage Throat-Cramming…
  another one bites the dust

Larry Klayman’s Lawsuit Against CityPages Dismissed Because He Is Bad At The Law

Who could ever have guessed that superlawyer Larry Klayman, former scourge of the Clinton and Bush White Houses (credit where it’s due, he sued the fuck out of George W. Bush for Dick Cheney’s energy task force meetings, where even the members of the task force were kept secret), and who most recently has been trying to get ol Prezzy to come out with his hands up, would have a lawsuit dismissed because he is bad at his job? Oh, right, everyone could have guessed that! Because of how we have been watching him lose case after case, forever! First he lost Bradlee Dean’s suit against Rachel Maddow, then he called the judge in the Maddow case a “woman scorned,” then he lost his own child custody or alimony case (we forget), then he called the judge in that case a Jew! It is weird how everyone is always out to get Larry Klayman, with their Jewishness and scorned womanness. And now he has lost another! It is like he cannot even wildly sue people for defamation for no reason without losing! Poor Larry Klayman. Read more on Larry Klayman’s Lawsuit Against CityPages Dismissed Because He Is Bad At The Law…
  another one bites the dust

Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All

Well, that was fast! Furry sex aficionado Rep. David Wu announced he will resign after the debt crisis negotiations are over (hahaha, so actually he means “never”) because of this sexytime incident with the 18-year-old daughter of his high school classmate that we heard about only a few days ago. Hooray, Congress is down another creepy pervert sex predator! Only several hundred more to go, we guess. Mostly we feel awful for the young woman that Wu sexed, for obvious reasons. We are also sorry for Nancy Pelosi, who has been spending a lot of her time this summer forced to listen to Democratic lawmakers talk about their sordid peen problems. Oh well, adios to the only member of Congress who will never be remembered for anything besides wearing a homemade Tigger costume, for America. Read more on Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All…