• LIVEBLOG AT 3:00 ET: Sara K. Smith is forcing her fellow associate editor to liveblog Rod Blagojevich’s naked antics in a short while, which will probably be brief and blah. Come back at… 2:57! [Chicago Tribune]

• IMPORTANT AFRICAN-AMERICAN HISTORICAL LIVEBLOG IMMINENT: Your “leader” Barack Obama is giving his first post-election press conference at 2:30 ET. You people will love it and sob at every word he says. Liveblog starts in 10-ish minutes!

TWO YEARS OF TORTURE: Here is your editor’s election-apocalypse cover story in your new LA CityBeat. Pick it up from a street rack or bookstore, if you can, because it’s TOO LONG for web-readin’, you betcha. Yes, it’s the issue with the terrifying Obama-Unicorn Garden of Eden cover artwork. [LA CityBeat]

SEXY PARTIES: Is your bar or club or bathhouse or even your actual house-house hosting an Election Night party open to the public, or at least to fancy Wonkette readers? Then send us the basic info (Address, time, entry requirements, theme, etc.) under the subject line LIST MY SEXY ELECTION PARTYTIME and Intern Juli will add it to our Big Election Night To-Do Special, posting Thursday!

Gotta admit, we’re feeling a teeny bit of pressure for tonight’s liveblogging. The last time we remember the comedy stakes being anywhere near as high as this was the GOP YouTube Debate last November. (Memories!) (Sigh.) Come back at 8:30 ET for the pre-game liveblog! Until then, we’ve compiled the last two days’ worth of YouTubes and widgets and websites and assorted Internet junk about Sarah Palin that you people make thousands of each day and then e-mail to us so that Ken can mark them all as spam. Well, here are your links, MERRY CHRISTMAS fuckaz. MORE »

SAD COMMENTERS PLZ TRY AGAIN! Are you one of the unlucky people who never got your new commenter account working? Try again now! Some kind of secret fix has been done by the Experts somewhere. Thanks, and sorry.

CALM DOWN NERDS: Famous person Josh Fruhlinger’s beloved “Cartoon Violence” will be back next week, and every week … starting next week. [Cartoon Violence]

BE OUR D.C. INTERN: There is one (1) internship open for a Washington D.C. student who will write a quick daily thing, on weekdays, and have the personality to go cover some stuff in town sometimes, like indie rock shows and ice cream socials and gallery openings and K Street job fairs and inaugurations and other foul LNS debacles. MORE »

NEW MOJAVE DESERT COLUMN: From your editor, for the Los Angeles City Beat paper, and also for viewers like you. And do not forget your Weekette collection, so go read the paper, if you are in Southern California today. [LA CityBeat]

South Dakota Representative Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, née “Stephanie Herseth,” is married to former Representative Max Sandlin. The happy couple just announced they will be having a baby sometime in late December, and the child will be elected to the House of Representatives no later than early March. [Argus Leader]

COMICS CURMUDGEON ON JEOPARDY SOON! Wonkette’s own Josh “Comics Curmudgeon” Fruhlinger will be on your teevee at either 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. (check local listings!) and the rumor is he “lets Trebek have it” and also wins super-champion Ken Jennings’ golden crown! [Jeopardy]

EXCITING LISTENING OPPORTUNITY FOR WONKETTE READERS! Those of you who have the XM satellite radio can listen to Wonkette’s own Comics Curmudgeon this afternoon! MORE »