For many years, our former vice president used his Wiccan mind-control powers on George W. Bush to make him enter wars and such. But at some point in the latter part of his presidency, Bush decided that he was “his own man,” which meant banishing Cheney to his Naval Observatory abbatoir, where the lonely hunchback danced around in suits of human skin and sang mournful ballads to Scooter Libby. MORE »