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  america's mayor

Mean Old Wasilla Mayor (Not Sarah) Calls Levi a Dumb Nudist

Good god, we’ve gone several hours without a Levi Johnston update! Yesterday, we all learned of Young Levi’s political plans: He wants to run for mayor of Wasilla, because he heard about this other idiot who managed to become mayor of Wasilla. But his bastard child’s sketchy old granny (Sarah Palin) isn’t even mayor of Wasilla anymore, so this wouldn’t really be the SMACKDOWN Levi and the Us Weekly/Entertainment Tonight industrial complex so badly requires, for America. Turns out some old dude is mayor of Alaska’s blue-tarp gravel pit, and this old dude doesn’t even dig Levi’s fresh moves! Read more on Mean Old Wasilla Mayor (Not Sarah) Calls Levi a Dumb Nudist…
  america's mayor

Giuliani, In Vintage Form, Scaring Old Jews About Black People

Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani — the only mayor in American history to have commercial airplanes take down his city’s two most prominent buildings — is now “thtumping” for Mayor Bloomberg in New York City in his campaign against Democrat Bill Thompson. Did you know that Bill Thompson is black, old Jewish people? Rudy fears a return to the New York of old — “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Read more on Giuliani, In Vintage Form, Scaring Old Jews About Black People…
  america's mayor

Marion Barry’s Life Continues To Be Gross Public Joke

It had been a while since Marion Barry’s name cropped up in the Police Blotter, and frankly we were beginning to get worried — worried that he was dead in a dumpster somewhere, and that we’d never again have such easy material. But, hooray (?), America’s Mayor is alive and well. He was, of course, charged with Stalking over the July 4 weekend. And now the Washington City Paper has some super-gross vulgar audio recordings to share with everyone! Read more on Marion Barry’s Life Continues To Be Gross Public Joke…
  america's mayor

Wasilla Is Meth Capital Of Alaska, Of Course

Like Sarah Palin said last night, mayors have Actual Responsibilities, unlike community organizers who just help poor people stay alive after their steel plant jobs are outsourced. And Sarah Palin’s responsibilities included funding “the meth capitol of Alaska,” as Alaskan State Troopers call the Wasilla region: “When authorities surrounded a converted bus housing a meth operation in Big Lake in January, a 13-year-old boy who answered the door bragged that his mom cooked the best meth in the valley, according to the troopers.” See? In Alaska, “Hockey Mom” is code for “Arctic Meth Princess.” [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Wasilla Is Meth Capital Of Alaska, Of Course…