Tag: pt america’s greatest pundits

The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn't your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it's too easy, but it's not like...

Today in Fappery: David Brooks on ‘Burkean Minimalist’ John Roberts

Centrist yuppies can barely handle themselves now, after seeing the Great Man himself, Chief Justice John Roberts, save Obamacare from judicial overreach in a statesmanlike move to protect his Court's honor. It is stunning how much credit a Republican...

Barack Obama Has Now Totally Ruined Marriage for Bristol Palin

Oh good, Alaska's at-risk youth have an opinion about Barack Obama's new/old stance in favor of same-sex marriage! He revealed this to America with a bland anecdote about how his daughters would never think to treat the gay...

In Case It Wasn’t Clear, Michele Bachmann’s Dual Citizenship Is The Left’s Fault

Yesterday we learned that Michele Bachmann is a spy for the Swiss government, intent on bringing down the United States of America from within. "Go for it," we say. But on the Right, this is a cause for great...

Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Has Learned To Stop Sharing His Sex Stories

Young Master Ross Douthat, the New York Times op-ed page's resident Catholic hobbit, has a new book out titled Bad Religion: How We Became a Nation of Heretics, about how screwed we are because of... Jesus... ??... anyway, it...

This Angry ‘Daily Caller’ Guy Will Fix Our Food Stamp Epidemic

Uh oh, some blowhard who's written a book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Founding Fathers recently saw a lady using food stamps at the Wal-Mart -- just like Ronald Reagan warned us they would! She was buying...

Mean Old Charles Krauthammer Hated The Berenstain Bears

Jan Berenstain, who co-authored the childrens' book series The Berenstain Bears along with her late husbad, Stan, died last week. This is a tragedy to your Wonkette writer, who read and made bad political jokes about dozens of these...

Wolf Blitzer Blog Post Answers Every Question You Had About Politics

Are you confused about how last night's Republican debate "will play" with the voters of Arizona and Michigan? Or what about politics in general: Are you confused about what politics is? Your Wonkette had no idea about any of...

Pulitzer Prize Columnist: Does Elena Kagan Not Meet ‘Ordinary-People Principle,’ By Being Terrible?

The Washington Post's Kathleen Parker, recently named the best commentator in all of American journalism by the Pulitzer Prize committee, has written some crap today about, let's see, Elena Kagan, the arch-lesbian. Is Elena Kagan not ordinary enough to...

Richard Cohen Wants Obama To ‘Go Crazy’ On The Country Iran

The World's Worst Writer has a Battle Plan for Iran! "I have no idea whether Ahmadinejad merely acts crazy or is crazy. I do know, though, that Iran seems intent on getting nuclear weapons and the missiles to deliver...

LATEST SOCIOPATHIC WAR-LOVING DEATH MONSTER GETS WEEKLY WASHINGTON POST COLUMN: The only "big name" missing from today's sunny Washington Post op-ed roster, regrettably, was occasional contributor Marc Thiessen, a former Bush speechwriter (just like Gerson, hey-o!) who absolutely loves...

IF BILL CLINTON WAS BLACK, THEN HOW IS OBAMA NOT MUSLIM? A real winner in the Moonie Times op-ed section today. We reach Absolute Zero by only the end of the second paragraph: "The man now happy to have...

Richard Cohen Simply Does Not Care For Affirmative Action

America's worst writer, Richard Cohen, strings together the saddest tale of all today in his important Washington Post newspaper column. Overarching topic: the Supreme Court. Pertinent issue: Affirmative Action. Protagonist: hard-working white firefighter. Antagonist: Negro race. "Punished" victim: all...

David Brooks Writes Terrifying History Of Obama’s America

Watch out, America, because David Brooks has written another one of his famous "theme" columns, in which he takes on a gimmick -- like pretending to be Kierkegaard, or a doctor researching some new Obama disease, or a cartoon...

BONO'S SOLILOQUY: Bono's first NYT column. First. Kill the limeys. Now we're in my house, Dublin. MURDER. Miles Davis. I knew Frank Sinatra, modernista, Palm Spring. Painting colors Vinegar. The year changes another year -- calendars. If. Also. Also....

David Brooks Calls Sarah Palin An Awful Disease That Kills People

David Brooks is an actual MAD MAN! This is what he wrote last Friday in his farty little column: "Palin held up her end of an energetic debate that gave voters a direct look at two competing philosophies. She...