OMG WTF OCTOBER SURPRISE everybody!!! Barack Obama has a number of paternal relatives, many of whom he has met once or not at all, because they come from a secret Marxist madrassa in the foreign city of Kenya, Africa. One of his Kenyan relatives is an aunt whom he has actually met a couple of times! She came to his swearing-in in the Senate in 2004 and has been living in Boston for a while, although he hasn’t heard from her for about two years. MORE »

Oh hell, the New York Times op-ed page is now warning of UFOs. Tuesday’s paper had an op-ed by this Nick Pope guy, who was actually the British Government’s factotum who had to take down the Anomalous Aerial Phenomena reports from the English and Scottish people, after they staggered home from the pub. MORE »

Panamanian-born immigrant John “Juan” McCain wants to be president of El Norte, the Estados Unidos de América , but of course he is not from our patriotic country. Luckily, he is a global elitist with many powerful allies in our Senate, so yesterday all the senators got together and agreed that McCain is a “natural born citizen” and can be our oldest president once Hillary destroys Obama and the Democrats forever. [AFP]

Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »