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  alien conspiracies

John McCain Says Pyromaniac Aliens To Blame For AZ Wildfires

What do we always know about America’s myriad unsolved problems? They are the fault of the illegalz. Recently, the illegalz have been trying to burn down all of Arizona with their chronic pyromaniac ruthlessness, according to senior desert wildfire detective Sen. John McCain. Asked by reporters at a press conference, “what’s the deal and how will you fix these insane wildfires,” he said what all Arizona GOP politicians say when they are too old and senile to actually hear and understand the questions anymore: “IT’S THE BORDER.” Old Grunty McWalnuts felt “evidence” was sort of a high standard of proof, so he went with “probably it was these things” like immigrants lighting fires at night to stay warm or send signals. Uh, okay! Aliens would rather start fires in the desert that they usually like to use for walking over from¬†Mexico, because it is fun when it is exponentially more lethal to cross than ever before. Read more on John McCain Says Pyromaniac Aliens To Blame For AZ Wildfires…