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  ain't no treaty this time

A Declaration Of War On Christmas

For real-time information about the #WarOnChristmas, refer to the Wonkette war Twitter. The time has arrived, as it does every year, for America to be besieged by that familiar and insidious enemy: Christmas. We have endured its tyranny for 2,000 years, with its manger scenes, its mint-flavored everything, its bearded occupation of J.C. Penny locations nationwide. Christmas flaunts its influence from the gilded trees in suburban bay windows across our land, mocking us while hijacking the radio waves for reindeer idolatry and the glorification of little boys with drums. And we shall suffer it no longer. Though its supporters have long bemoaned “attacks” on this, the worst of all seasons, Christmas has never felt the wrath of the people, the power of the oppressed masses. We shall rise up. We shall fight back. Before the media warns us for another year of the stealth “War on Christmas,” we shall make it clear. We shall, officially, declare war on Christmas. Read more on A Declaration Of War On Christmas…