Tag Archives: pt 2012 will be like 2012

  2012 will be like 2012

Doomsday Clock 5 Minutes ‘Til Midnight; Iranian Assassinated

How are things? Bad? Oh. Well, there’s always “Angry Birds” or whatever. Oxycontin. And the fancy scientist people have moved the “symbolic” Doomsday Clock another minute closer to Midnight. This does not mean “another minute closer to Santa’s visit,” or whatever the popular superstitions are these days. It means the world will come to an actual end, as far as we know. Of course the world will still be here, probably for billions of years. Plants and animals and vermin may survive in various ways, too, such as popular nuclear holocaust survival tropes “the cockroach” and “the rat” and “Dick Cheney.” But the humans will all die, miserably. This is according to Science, anyway. WE choose to believe in American Football Jesus, who will take us all to Heaven, which will be like CostCo but everything will be covered in molten gold, even the 78-packs of Doritos. And we will never have to pretend to try to exercise, and we can hate black people with impunity. It’s going to be glorious, this American White People Heaven. Read more on Doomsday Clock 5 Minutes ‘Til Midnight; Iranian Assassinated…
  2012 will be like 2012

Union-Busting Kochsucker Scott Walker New GOP Favorite For 2012

We won’t know for sure until he double-sucks the withered old peckers of David and Charles Koch on live television while simultaneously pooping on the grave of a 9/11 firefighter and strangling a pre-schooler, but Wisconsin’s Scott Walker is quickly shaping up to be the Republicans’ top choice to run for president in 2012. He’s got the can-do moxie of a real go-getter scrambling up the corporate ladder, and if he can illegally stomp the teachers and police and firemen of Wisconsin (until it’s all overturned in court) then maybe he can push the rest of the American Middle Class into poverty and turn the “frown” of schools and public sewer systems upside down into a new libertarian-kleptocrat utopia (for the Koch Brothers). RUN SCOTT DON’T WALKER! Read more on Union-Busting Kochsucker Scott Walker New GOP Favorite For 2012…