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Posts Tagged ‘2010!’

WHAT A GRUNDLE

Joe Lieberman, Calls ‘Em As He Sees ‘Em

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Joe Lieberman, who is of course with the Democrats on every issue except The War, just keeps talkin’ his Joe Lieberman trash: “I probably will support some Republican candidates for Congress or Senate in the election in 2010. I’m going to call them as I see them.” Fine, campaign for whoever, who cares? But maybe, in exchange for that, he could VOTE WITH HIS PARTY ON A FREAKING PROCEDURAL MOTION INSTEAD OF NOT DOING THAT. Goodness. Someone just get it over with and throw in a $10 million earmark to build the Joe Lieberman Museum of Accomplishments & High-Tech Masturbatorium in Stamford, which is all he’s ever wanted. Meanwhile, thank you to our fine contributing artist Lauri Apple for this very evil drawing of Joe Lieberman wearing a rat mask. [TPM]


THE INTERNET FINDS A WAY

Pay Insane Amount Of Money To Send Partisan Piece Of Paper To Congress!

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

Someone has just informed your Wonkette of the latest terrible web site, “SEND CONGRESS A PINK SLIP.” You can get the organization behind this effort to send a piece of paper to members of Congress threatening to vote against them in 2010 if they vote for “Government Health Care,” “Cap & Trade,” “‘Hate Crimes’” or, the best of all, “Any More Spending.” The prototypical pink slip threatens, “If you vote for ANY of these, your REAL PINK SLIP WILL BE ISSUED IN THE NEXT ELECTION.” WE WILL KILL YOU WITH GUNS. But who is behind this effort — certainly there’s too much graphic design here for Red State to handle, yes? — and what could they want? MORE »


RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Nancy Pelosi’s Intimate Relationship With Der Führer Exposed On Camera!

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
  • Introducing: Lip gloss that transforms into a secret date rape drug test kit! Hallelujah! Now you can let that Republican Senator buy you thousands of Flirtinis. Ah, peace of mind. [The Daily Dish]
  • Rush Limbaugh can only tell the truth because his son wished it so, when he blew out his birthday candles. Wikiquotes, on the other hand … lies lies lies. [RedState]
  • Will Matt Yglesias be able to use his Flux Capacitor to go back in time and prevent himself from reading Infinite Jest? No one knows. [Matt Yglesias]
  • The RNC has found new footage that suggests Hitler spent his last days in the Führerbunker pouting about Nancy Pelosi and her shared vision of an Aryan public option. [TPM]
  • What will the ’10s be like? Will it be a fun decade? Maybe roller skates will have a comeback? Or will we regress into anarchy and burn tires in the cobblestone streets and eat space ice cream for nourishment? [AMERICAblog]

AND NOW WE GET LUNCH

WWE Wrestling Lady Will Be The New Chris Dodd

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Linda McMahon, who runs a friendly wrestling company out of Connecticut with her husband, Vince, will run as a Republican for Chris Dodd’s Senate seat in 2010. Whatever. Here she is in a wrestling video getting struck with a move called, “The Standing-69 Gone Wrong.” [MoJo]


HOORAY!

Thursday, September 10th, 2009
  • RANDOM DEMOCRAT IN SOUTH CAROLINA GETS RICH, FOR DOING NOTHING: We have been watching the campaign donation tally since last night for Democrat Rob Miller, 2010 opponent of weird shouter guy Joe Wilson, and holy baloney. Earlier today it was $100,000, then $150,000, but according to whatever most recent e-mail whatever liberal organization just sent out, it is now $450,000! Think of all the free Joe Wilson apparel he can buy with this sum, especially with those “South Carolina prices.” [AP]

SPORTS DESK

Some Pro Sports Performer Wants To Be Ted Kennedy

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Level 4 TrollThe race to fill Ted Kennedy’s ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston’s “Mighty Ducks,” loves George W. Bush and jacking off in bloodstained sock, so he is qualified to be the Republican candidate. Schilling, heir to his family’s spice fortune, joins a crowded Republican field that includes former Lieutenant Governor Kerry Healey and pretty much nobody else. MORE »


GOODBYE FOREVER

Sprightly Forest Creature QUITS Latest Race Against Bachmann

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Ancient mysterious woodland elf Elwyn Tinklenberg, Jesus-envoy to Minnesota’s freshwater meth hellscape, has dropped his latest (third?) bid to kill Michele Bachmann, politically, in 2010. He enjoyed a few days as America’s #1 guy in 2008 when it looked like he could’ve picked off Bachmann in the eleventh hour after she went nuts, as usual, but in an instance when people were actually paying attention. But fear not, liberal sallies! The chivalrous Elwyn quitteth only to avoid an ugly primary fight with a certain Tarryl Clark, who is… let’s see here… oooooh, a lady-person. Hello miss lady who could easily be Michele Bachmann’s younger sister! [TPM]


RAND PAUL FTW

Monday, July 27th, 2009

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh this sucks, for comedy reasons: Republican Sen. Jim Bunning of Kentucky, one of the dumbest and crankiest baseball pitchers in Congress today, has announced that he will NOT SEEK re-election in 2010! No one will donate any money to his campaign since they all hate him, Jim Bunning, the incumbent Republican Senator from a very very red state. What does this mean for your Wonkette? We have lost a brilliant campaigner, forever. [TPM]


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Arkansas Senate Candidate Will Cleanse America of the Un-Christian, Un-American Barack Obama (the President)

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Now we all agree with Hitlers' views, Although he killed six million Jews. It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist!The last time an Arkansas Republican candidate for Senate made the news, it was for sneeringly referring to Senator Chuck Schumer as a dangerous Jew. But this new guy, he says “I don’t want to do a Kim Hendren,” referring to Kim Hendren, the wingnut Senate hopeful who made the Schumer-Jew remark. And that’s why this new character, Conrad Reynolds, tells the Arkansas Democrat Gazette he needs to be super careful with his answers! These days, it seems like even a harmless watermelon joke will make the headlines! MORE »


NOOOOOOOO!

‘Common Sense Conservative’ Plotting Run Against Michele Bachmann

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

She opens her mouth to speak and, What comes out's a mystery. Thought about, not understood, She's achin' to be ....Can you imagine America without its favorite dingbat congresslady, baby-farming conservative icon Michele Bachmann? Would we be able to laugh, ever again? Well get ready for eternal sorrow, because some attorney in her district is maybe planning to challenge Bachmann in the GOP primary next year! His name is Chris Johnston, and he is the kind of Islamic Terrorist who would dare to question the intellectual integrity and public record of the only Real American congresslady in all of Washington and/or Minnesota! MORE »


HE'S BUSTIN' HIS ASS FOR YOU

Congressman Pete King Not Even Trying

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009


Peter King, one of exactly two Republican congressmen from the state of New York remaining after Obama stole GOP Rep. John McHugh for army secretary, must defend his Long Island seat — not just from whatever contender in 2010, and the big increase in Democratic voters, and the dying-off Republican voters, but from the Dems’ crafty plans to screw him with redistricting in 2012. MORE »