Wonkette

A woman who works in a restaurant at the Little Rock airport said she was fired after she held up a Hillary Clinton sign in view of John McCain’s landing plane. Micah Qualls says former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee saw her holding up the sign in the parking lot and complained to her boss, who promptly canned her. But Mike Huckabee and her boss say no such thing happened, and this is all a terrible misunderstanding! So who’s lying — the sassy lassie who starred in a local theater production of “Anything Goes,” or the devout governor whose covenant wedding Qualls protested three years ago? MORE »

Here are Ron Paul’s supporters, still leading the Ron Paul rEVOLution, on the lawn of the U.S. Capitol yesterday at a rally, gazing longingly at George Washington’s aluminum-tipped erect penis in the distance. Did you know that Ron Paul will also have a famous obelisk-cum-penis when he is president, again? More pictures of his concubines dancing the dance of Freedom, after the jump! MORE »

SAN FRANCISCO IS HAVING PROTESTS TOO: Old people fighting cops, 140 arrests, people in gorilla suits … San Francisco did not disappoint. [SF Gate]

Iraq War protester-hippies poured red paint on the sidewalk outside of an Army recruitment office today. When a recruiter — who, along with his colleagues, was counter-protesting — noticed the spill, he asked some hippies what impact pouring red paint on the sidewalk has on the war. One hippie responded along the lines of, “It’s the blood of foreign countries that you’ve spilled.” The recruiter responded with something about bringing peace to the Middle East. This really happened. They each went their own ways after a minute or so — the hippie back to his hippie mob which was chanting “fuck the war!”; the recruiter back to his Army friends who were responding with “win the war!” (although it might have been “bring the war!” which is, well, terrible). Between these two groups was a puddle of red paint on the sidewalk, claiming naive pedestrians one-by-one.

Worst protest in the history of protests. Our last pictures are below, so you can see for yourself. MORE »

The key to any hippie protest is having a wide range of signs, usually homemade, each of which features some wry slogan of the individual protester’s making. This strategy creates a safeguard against the corrosive effects of Mob Rule upon the brain. To illustrate further: a protester is at home reading conspiracy theories on the Internet, and this protester’s mind is churning out revolutionary new postulates by the second. The protester can write the best of them all — “The Bush is burning,” say — on his or her sign. Each protester does this, the Mob Mentality sets in, and voila, it’s a protest: a sea of ugly signs with pathetic phrases and a loud roar of “BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH” erupting from hundreds of overfed mouths. A Wonkette Photo Tour of today’s best signs, after the jump. MORE »

This is another party of protesting hippie marauders, who met up around noon to march down K Street — home of evil lobbyists like John McCain — and yell at all the corporates in their plush silk-lined oil money offices. For a good half an hour, the group was steadily making its way through D.C. yelling “Down with K Street,” or some such. For this same half an hour, they were on L Street. Oops! Check out this latest Wonkette Film, where the hobbits finally reach K Street, the road they hate. [YouTube]

It is raining now because the Gods want the hippies to have mud slides. An on-the-ground informant has this update: “Note the mass of police closing in on the group, which has since disbanded… The building in the background is the headquarters of Winston and Strawn. What they did to deserve a protest is beyond me.”

Hurrah, Wonkette made a movie! We went to D.C.’s McPherson Square, which has been overrun by lefty protest group Code Pink. They have tents and will probably live there forever, because of the Subprimes. Combine the lameness of Washington D.C. with a vague, day-long protest and there’s only one possible result: a big lady, an old beardy man and a polar bear dancing to a Rage Against The Machine cover band. The Iraq War will have no choice but to stop immediately. More photos and videos from “on the ground” coming shortly! [YouTube]