We’ve been waiting to write a headline like that for years! People are now EATING EACH OTHERS’ DIGITS over health care reform and other pieces of legislation and whatever that none of them probably understand. MORE »

Wonkette’s Tea Party “Google Group” operative sends this amazing e-mail about the Hollywood motion picture Braveheart. Please, please do this, guys!

This is a truly great clip, my friends, truly great, because it involves Karl Rove behaving foolishly. He was holding some sort of discussion panel thing this morning with former Democratic Sen. George Mitchell — in the communist port town of San Francisco. “Oh boy!” is right. First some crazy drunk lady walks on stage and tries to handcuff Rove, and as soon as she makes her move, he SWATS her hands away like a baby while staring straight ahead. And then another hippie goes nuts in the audience. Finally, Rove says some whiny thing, pretending to be offended, and literally everyone laughs at him and Mitchell is like, “shutup, fraud.” All in all a fine session of political discourse. [YouTube, ABC 7]

Here’s Fox News reporter “Griff” Jenkins trying to infiltrate the “leftist protesters” today in Denver, right where your Wonkette is! The courageous Griffer risks his life by walking into the throngs of rebel protesters who — and this comes as a surprise to Griff — do not all love Obama. Hmm! Then, hilariously, the crowd starts shouting “Fuck Fox News!” Griff can only respond by asking them, “Do you not believe in freedom?” Instant classic. [YouTube]

San Franciscans have three favorite pastimes: sodomy, jamming up traffic with their bicycles, and protesting things with puppets. This third hobby was on full display yesterday as protesters lined the scenic Embarcardero waiting for the Olympic torch to go running by on its whirlwind tour of the globe. Throughout the world, Olympic officials have been consistently embarrassed by protesters dousing the torch, yelling about China and Tibet and human rights, and saying unkind things about America’s Banker. But by San Francisco, they’d gotten wise — and decided to fake out the protesters in the most farcical running of the Olympic torch ever! MORE »

Today was the big Abortion Thingy on The Mall! Yay! Since my day job is right in the middle of it, I decided to go all photojournalisty on you. And what did I learn? First of all, these people couldn’t possibly be whiter. Also: What they lack in spelling skills, they make up for in juvenile voter fraud! Plus, of course, there were Paultards. To quote John Waters, I wish I were a girl so that I could get an abortion! More pictures after the jump…

MORE »

Faithful reader Sean spotted this intrepid protester outside the McPherson Square metro this morning. The lady is quite upset about the administration’s plans to re-hang Saddam “Suddan” Hussein — plans she presumably read about in The Onion.

U.S. To Re-Hang Saddam Hussein [The Onion]