Wonkette

Hey Rhode Islanders, did you all know that prostitution is kinda legal in your heathen separatist state? Well thanks to Eliot Spitzer, that may not be the case anymore! According to the Providence Journal, “Rhode Island lawmakers are considering a bill that would close the loophole in this state’s laws that makes prostitution legal if it occurs indoors.” Yes, that is slightly more than a loophole. Either way, thanks for ruining more lives, Spitzer. MORE »

Four bucks says these two friends of “Kristen,” the “high-priced call girl” that made wondrous Love to Eliot Spitzer, will both get multi-billion dollar record contracts within a week. Will these two and “Kristen” become the new Black-Eyed Peas, since they are also a team of boys and girls that make by-the-numbers hip hop? Maybe if Barack Obama is president. [MSNBC]

The New York Times has a profile up of “Kristen.” Her name is actually Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and her story is imaginably depressing. But then if you go to her MySpace page, it plays a pretty blah hip-hop song (”amateurish, hip-hop inflected rhythm and blues tune that asks, ‘Can you handle me, boy?’ and uses some dated slang, calling someone her ‘boo,’” says the mean New York Times). That’s when we lost sympathy, and also why she’ll probably get a record deal within hours. [NYT]

From Marketing Magazine: “To promote its dedication to a more personalized approach to customer care, Virgin will run a full-page ad this week in Metro and 24 commuter dailies in Toronto featuring the now-former Governor Spitzer with a thought bubble above his head that reads: ‘I’m tired of being treated like a number.’” Aww, daddy’s had enough of the strap-on? [Marketing Mag via Dealbreaker]

According to the British tabloid News of the World, the Duke of Westminster also patronizes the Emperor’s Club VIP. He is Britain’s third richest man and “heads his country’s Territorial Army,” who fight the terrorists. Since these incredible things were not quite enough for his paid sex worker to have sex with him, here’s what he told her to seal the deal: “Osama bin Laden was alive and hiding in Pakistan.” MORE »

See the sad wife’s face. See her marriage, her family, crumble. Is this why she is mad? Maybe that is a small aspect of it, but maybe she just wanted to be the First New York Lady for a while longer. According to the New York Times, “In the two days since news of Mr. Spitzer’s involvement in the prostitution ring surfaced, he has been engaged in an intense legal and family debate about whether to resign or, as aides said his wife was urging, to stay on.” Think of all the fine minks and Scottish smoked salmons that a First New York Lady must have! Now it’s back to TJ Maxx and Philadelphia “smoked salmon cream cheese” (a.k.a. Alcohol and Cougar McCain Pills). [NYT]

But he just wanted to get laid! By a hooker! For $4,300 billion! And now he’s resigning, effective next Monday for some strange reason. What is this, Gay France? [NYP]

Outrage has swept the nation following revelations that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer probably paid $4300 to meet with a high-priced call girl in Washington D.C. Sure, everybody’s horrified and baffled that such a straight shooter would violate the sacred marital bond and betray his constituents’ trust. But the real puzzler is this: isn’t $4300 a little on the steep side for a lady of the night? Who does this guy think he is, Howard Hughes? MORE »

Our secret Internet operative “Jake” has sent us screen shots from the Emperor’s Club VIP’s website. The Emperor’s Club, of course, is the “prostitution ring” that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer allegedly penetrated with his sex bits. Let’s see if it was worth $5,500 dollars an hour (and his governorship/career/family etc etc). MORE »

Here is America’s First Whoremonger Governor gesturing broadly toward resigning but not really saying anything of import. Now we must turn our attention to “healing,” by which we mean finding out who else is implicated in this delightful prostitution scandal. [CNN]

Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a master of whores! A Hebrew pimp? A baldilocks whoremonger? A fishmonger dabbling in whores, with a cod piece of cold ethical hypocrisy? O, such country matters. Anyway, just what exactly is this Spitzer doing with these sloppy whores? Let’s liveblog his press conference… MORE »