Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop? MORE »

Could this possibly be true? Famous MSNBC reporter David Shuster, who once boldly suggested that Hillary Clinton was a pimp who shopped around her daughter for cash in exchange for sex, allegedly has a bald spot, and allegedly gets very upset when his bald spot appears on the television. Who is the “source close to production” who tattled to Page Six about this possible problem of David Shuster’s? Hillary Clinton, probably. [Page Six]

Watch out America, because Eliot Spitzer is buying LAND, LAND we tell you! LAND! In Washington D.C., right near where he banged the gal that time in the hotel thing. MORE »

• SAN FRANCISCO ADOPTING ‘SAN FRANCISCO VALUES’: “SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — A measure that aims to keep prostitutes from facing criminal charges has qualified for the November ballot in San Francisco … The Erotic Service Providers Union recently gathered the 12,000 signatures necessary to put the measure on the ballot.” Surely this is part of the Gay Agenda. [AP]

DOES HIS WIFE KNOW WHERE HE IS?: Yesterday the videographers at TMZ ran into disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, just a-walkin’ the streets of New York City! He was evidently searching for new prostitutes while carrying a tabbed folder, which was also filled with prostitutes. In this 20-second video, Spitzer says that he is “working,” which is black street slang for “being a homeless STD-riddled bum.” Eliot Spitzer is completely naked for this entire video. [TMZ]

Yesterday we showed our dear readers the ‘Nobama Network,’ a ‘portal site’ developed by Hilltards that links to hundreds of disastrous old ladies’ sites, including Wonkette, Talking Points Memo, and Arianna Huffington’s Post. Who is behind this marvelous service to the Internet, and America? Wonkette operative “blogslut” obviously was determined to figure this out and discovered that the registrant is one Wendy Adams, a.k.a. “wendy@awebcat.com.” If you check out Wendy’s “awebcat.com,” you’ll see that she does “Las Vegas Web design,” and the first row of her portfolio includes the various “Adult Web Design” projects she’s put together. After the jump, let’s take a look at some of Wendy’s sexy projects that she works on when she’s not creating the Nobama Network. (WARNING: PICTURES OF HOT MALE AND FEMALE SLUTS AFTER THE JUMP, MAKE SURE YOU’RE IN PRIVATE OR HAVE A COOL BOSS WHO LIKES TIT$ AND STUFF). MORE »

Disgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »

He probably raised the bills just high enough to be out of reach for a 12-year-old Thai slaveboy. Sexistracist. [TwinCities.com]

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

And a sad story becomes sadder still: Deborah Jeane Palfrey was found hanging dead in a storage shed behind her mother’s Florida mobile home. Many pages of “handwritten suicide notes” were reportedly found in the shed by the Tarpon Springs police. Read the weird transcript, after the jump. MORE »