Watch out America, because Eliot Spitzer is buying LAND, LAND we tell you! LAND! In Washington D.C., right near where he banged the gal that time in the hotel thing. MORE »

• SAN FRANCISCO ADOPTING ‘SAN FRANCISCO VALUES’: “SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — A measure that aims to keep prostitutes from facing criminal charges has qualified for the November ballot in San Francisco … The Erotic Service Providers Union recently gathered the 12,000 signatures necessary to put the measure on the ballot.” Surely this is part of the Gay Agenda. [AP]

DOES HIS WIFE KNOW WHERE HE IS?: Yesterday the videographers at TMZ ran into disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, just a-walkin’ the streets of New York City! He was evidently searching for new prostitutes while carrying a tabbed folder, which was also filled with prostitutes. In this 20-second video, Spitzer says that he is “working,” which is black street slang for “being a homeless STD-riddled bum.” Eliot Spitzer is completely naked for this entire video. [TMZ]

Yesterday we showed our dear readers the ‘Nobama Network,’ a ‘portal site’ developed by Hilltards that links to hundreds of disastrous old ladies’ sites, including Wonkette, Talking Points Memo, and Arianna Huffington’s Post. Who is behind this marvelous service to the Internet, and America? Wonkette operative “blogslut” obviously was determined to figure this out and discovered that the registrant is one Wendy Adams, a.k.a. “wendy@awebcat.com.” If you check out Wendy’s “awebcat.com,” you’ll see that she does “Las Vegas Web design,” and the first row of her portfolio includes the various “Adult Web Design” projects she’s put together. After the jump, let’s take a look at some of Wendy’s sexy projects that she works on when she’s not creating the Nobama Network. (WARNING: PICTURES OF HOT MALE AND FEMALE SLUTS AFTER THE JUMP, MAKE SURE YOU’RE IN PRIVATE OR HAVE A COOL BOSS WHO LIKES TIT$ AND STUFF). MORE »

Disgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »

He probably raised the bills just high enough to be out of reach for a 12-year-old Thai slaveboy. Sexistracist. [TwinCities.com]

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

Making a sadder story just a little bit sadder still, today the cops have revealed D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s suicide note. Instead of blowing the lid of Dick Cheney’s particular perversions or David Vitter’s favorite style of Depends (logo of Elmo in wheelchair, masturbating), the two-page note is a heartbreakingly dull list of trivialities in grade-school girlish handwriting. MORE »

And a sad story becomes sadder still: Deborah Jeane Palfrey was found hanging dead in a storage shed behind her mother’s Florida mobile home. Many pages of “handwritten suicide notes” were reportedly found in the shed by the Tarpon Springs police. Read the weird transcript, after the jump. MORE »

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother’s house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn’t know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place! [Washington Post]

Yikes! Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the D.C. Madam who sold whores to David Vitter and other “famous” folks in the Washington area, has “apparently” committed suicide after being convicted of money laundering and racketeering. Police found her dead in her mother’s Tarpon Springs, Florida home today. She had not yet been sentenced. Maybe someone was going for a plea deal? WHAT IS HAPPENING? [Fox 13]