prostitutes
AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All
Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that [...]
NJ Sen. Bob Menendez Proves Old Truism: Dude, Pay Your Hookers
New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, repeat after us: Pay your hookers. Pay your hookers. PAY YOUR GODDAMN HOOKERS. Maybe you thought $100 was enough for working gals in the Dominican Republic. If that is so, you should have told them that UP FRONT instead of agreeing to $500 and then only forking over a lousy [...]
Florida Politicians Sure Do Love Paying For Sex
How many elected officials in the state of Florida have to be discovered on a list of clients at a brothel before Your Wonkette deigns to write about it? One? Two? Three? Oh, no, wait, we guess it’s only two. So, noted central Florida pimp Mark David Risner, what sort of politicians did you lure [...]
Why Is California Trying To Make It Easier For Prostitutes To Break Away From Their Rightful Owners?
Dumb California hippies are at it again, trying to nationalize your muneez from your hardworking hands and use it for cosmetic surgery for lowlifes! First they took all the tax dollars in the world and gave it to (former) gang members, just so (former) gang members could their gang tattoos removed and get jerbs. And [...]
BREAKING! Secret Service Sexing Must Be Rampant Because Marines Bought A Hooker In Brazil!
Well now we are getting to the bottom of this! When the Secret Service was sexing all those ladies in Cartagena, was that an isolated incident? NO IT WAS NOT! And how do we know this? Because Defense Secretary Leon Panetta “admitted” that last year three US Marines hired a sex worker in Brazil! Now, [...]
Chuck Grassley’s Got This Whole Secret Service Problem Covered, You Guys
Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if [...]
Barack Obama Finally Gets A Sex Scandal
“Wheels up, rings off,” amirite Secret Service? Maybe! Everything we know about this sexxxy new scandal we learned from Twitter! What else does Twitter have to tell us about the #SecretService getting bom dia-ed in Colombia? * Pay your prostitute DUMBASS. * They had a Groupon. * 10 Recommendations For a quicker and much easier [...]
Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer
Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website “SeekingArrangement.com” decided they could use some more publicity, and announced their hopes to advertise.
Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releasing Exciting Book About Sex With Todd Palin
Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin’s alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her snowbilly family’s oxycontin exploits. But, just in case you need a final dose, be sure to [...]
Ted Haggard Would Be Bisexual If He Was a Hott 21-Year-Old
Former leading Bush evangelical megachurch pastor/guy who did crystal meth with gay prostitutes Ted Haggard is featured in the February issue of Gentlemen’s Quarterly, so that gentlemen can remove their top hats and waistcoats, sit down at the chair with some light reading, and laugh at him. “I cried when the Chilean miners got rescued. [...]
Does Diaperman David Vitter Have a New Favorite Hooker?
Have you explored the strange world of men with too much money writing about their escort experiences on the Internet? GOOD, don’t … unless you want to learn what lingo like this might mean: “More then one man can handle alone. PSE is my thing. Keep that gfe shit!” Yeah, who wants that second thing? [...]
Important People Upset By Lack Of Quiet Hookers
Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. (This is the first False Fact you learn in social studies class; “Hunting” was actually the first profession, followed a few hours later by “Hungry Rentboy.”) But in these troubling times, basically every single prostitute is a total blabbermouth who will sell his/her story to the tabloid reptile-people. And [...]
Attractive French Lady Carla Bruni a Sworn Enemy Of the Islamic Republic
What is with you people and your tireless hatred of Iran, which happens to be a Republic just like your beloved “United States”? First it was Paul the Magical German Octopus, with his saber rattling and erotic fantasies of Israel firebombing the dickens out of Tehran. Then John Bolton emerged from his octopus tank to [...]
Anti-Gay Wingnut Only Hired Gay Prostitute For Handjobs!
Family Research Council wingnut anti-homosexual crusader George Rekers only took that Rentboy.com male sex escort with him on a European Vacation to have some help carrying the luggage — even though the boy-toy just stood there while Rekers actually pushed the luggage cart. Besides, he always hires gay hookers to “lovingly share two types of [...]
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