Tag Archives: prostitute

  cocktober surprise

Terrible Obama Covers Up 25-Year-Old Volunteer Gettin’ It Wet With Prosties

There are very few pulp novels about Cartagena. Market opportunity!
We are apparently supposed to be outraged and scandalized by this new wrinkle on the 2012 Secret Service Sexxytime Scandal: It wasn’t just Secret Service agents foolin’ around with hookers before Barack Obama’s April 2012 trip to Cartagena, Colombia. According to yesterday’s Washington Post, a 25-year-old volunteer traveling with the White House advance team got it on with a prostitute, just like the Secret Service did, even though the White House has always said that no members of the White House advance staff were involved. The volunteer, Jonathan Dach, isn’t talking, but his attorney has denied that Dach hired a prostitute or did anything in his hotel bed other than sleep, eat, and maybe make a little tent. Read more on Terrible Obama Covers Up 25-Year-Old Volunteer Gettin’ It Wet With Prosties…
  the wrong kind of badger

WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he did not take the Boehner-approved class on good touch/bad touch, per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Assembly Majority Leader Bill Kramer may resign from his leadership post as soon as Saturday after being accused of sexually harassing at least two women while in Washington, D.C., for a GOP fundraiser. Protip for all GOP officials: don’t take a hands-on approach to give that personal touch to women voters, because Mad Men is a teevee show and not real life anymore.  Read more on WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)…
  wankers

Matthew Boyle To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone, Cockblocking Bob Menendez

Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized “fuck you I’m getting laid tonight” holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don’t deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew Boyle of Breitbart/Daily Tucker fame. Most normal Americans will spend the day avoiding their Facebook Feed and charging the batteries on their Hello Kitty masturbating wand for a night of tequila-fueled streaming 9 Songs on Netflix. Matthew on the other hand will be putting on his fancy “investigative journalist” fedora and spending the entirety of the night alternating between sobbing pitifully into his chalice of Mountain Dew Red Alert and furiously masturbating to the latest hot leads that he has on Senator Bob Menendez’s sex life. Read more on Matthew Boyle To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone, Cockblocking Bob Menendez…
  double agents

Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party

Hilarious radio satirist Rush Limbaugh pulled his biggest prank on far-right AM radio listeners and the entire Republican Party last week, when he took the GOP fringe-right religious-fanatic attack on birth control and turned it into a full Republican attack on all women. Now, as advertisers abandon the radio program and the GOP presidential candidates are jabbering tongue-tied nonsense when asked for the official Republican position on all women being sluts and prostitutes for using basic birth control, the comedic genius Rush Limbaugh is having his biggest laugh yet. We can only imagine the high-fives that Rush and Obama are giving each other today, on the golf course. Read more on Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party…
 

No Fun At The Spitzer Residence

Eliot Spitzer’s in one room, crying over his ruined career and life and whatever, while his wife “Silda Wall” is on the other side of mansion-apartment with her lawyers. “She doesn’t want to look at him, and he doesn’t want to bear the look that she gives when she does look at him,” a secret insider tells the New York Sun. What, she doesn’t want to look at Mr. Whore-Lovin’ Hypocrite Muppet Mouth? But he’s so cute. [New York Sun] Read more on No Fun At The Spitzer Residence…
 

Conservative Lawmaker: “I have not had sex with a guy”

Washington (state) is abuzz this week with rumors that state Rep. Richard Curtis is involved in an extortion ring with a “reputed” male prostitute — in other words, Did he fuck a dude? Curtis is obviously a Republican with a socially conservative voting record, so allegations like these were sure to come out sometime. As was his predictable response: “I am not gay… I have not had sex with a guy.” Sure, but… DOES HE LIE? Read more on Conservative Lawmaker: “I have not had sex with a guy”…
 

Also, Mike Jones Wants All the Male Hookers In DC To Reveal Their Clients

Mike Jones, the guy who blew the whistle on Reverend Ted Haggard’s love of meth and gay sex, did a radio interview on Sirius today. You wanted specifics, right? * “I only advertised in gay publications. So if someone was looking for me, they were looking in a gay publication.” Read more on Also, Mike Jones Wants All the Male Hookers In DC To Reveal Their Clients…