It’s pretty exciting to vote, right? Remember how cool you felt in November, voting for the black dude? Remember how fun it was, voting against goddamned Sarah Palin and Walnuts? And just cold goin’ down the ballot and voting against anybody with an “R” after their name? Fun times. You can relive the excitement today in California, if you live there and do the voting thing — and if you read Wonkette, there’s a one-in-three chance you do live and vote in California. Who knew? MORE »

The fairies in San Francisco face a considerably more important vote on California’s February 5 primary day than “American president.” Enter Proposition C, which offers the least bureaucratic question in the history of various state election Proposition C’s: Should the former Alcatraz prison of doom be converted into a ‘Global Peace Center’? In other stereotypical local propositions, Floridians today are voting on whether to convert Walt Disney World into a juicy Florida orange. MORE »