Tag Archives: prophets!

  god works in mysterious ways

Christian Prophets Name Rick Perry As Future Earth Warlord King

Oh gawd, the Christian Right just gets weirder and more insane every time we read news, which would actually not be news except for the fact that gay wax sculpture Rick Perry has tuned into these weirdos who claim that Jesus or whoever is in charge of heaven’s email spam system forwarded these remarkably insane people a prophesy identifying Perry as their next king. From a sad/horrifying story in the Texas Observer, go read the whole thing if you are one of those “creepy bedtime stories” people: Read more on Christian Prophets Name Rick Perry As Future Earth Warlord King…
  the homosexuals!

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, “a new gospel”: All of the world’s lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at a big Jesus party thrown by My Boyfriend Lou Engle. Though he has failed utterly in his mission from God to save San Francisco from Chadd, the three-story-tall homosexual Jesus giant, Lou called in a crazy Jeebus lady named Cindy Jacobs to take care of all the lesbians, and oh boy, did she ever! Read more on Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist…