Tag Archives: propaganda

  Triumph Of The Wal

Walmart Training Video Will Scare You Away From Evil Mean Unions Forever

Nice minimum wage job you got here. Shame if something was to happen to it.
Here is a terrifying anti-union video, mandatory viewing for all new Walmart employees, and designed to warn the Walmart neophyte away from those scary union organizers who are trying to lure unsuspecting “associates” into their evil schemes. As propaganda, it ain’t no Leni Riefenstahl, but it’s enough to do the trick, we guess. And you’ll hardly even notice that all the Genuine Walmart Associates are standing in front of green screen projections of Walmart locations. We know that some of you Wonkers never watch the videos, but this one is worth seeing, just for the sheer horror of it. If Barbara Ehrenreich could handle it, so can you. Read more on Walmart Training Video Will Scare You Away From Evil Mean Unions Forever…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

No real reason for including Raptor Jesus here. We just like Raptor Jesus better than Ben Carson.
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  The Wonkette Media Empire

Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette

Here at yr Wonkette, we’re always brainstorming new ways to amuse and confound you. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this thing! It is called The Weekend Stock Photo Report With Weekend S. Photo! It is kind of a video slide show of funny pictures that we are definitely allowed to use, and a voice-over that says funny things about the politics, and boy aren’t you a lucky duckie, huh? Read more on Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette…
  communists in the bed

Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!

Y’all, y’all, y’all! Your inappropriately sexualized* Professorski Elizabeth Warrenovna T-shirts are in, and we have begun mailing them to you through the USPS! Here are your links for the purchasing of the women’s T-shirts, and also the men’s, as modeled here by our husband, Shypixel, Sexy Beast. Read more on Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!…
  vote knope

Indiana Governor To Start Very Own Pravda, Hooray!

All the cool kids in Muncie wear these
We will comment on this further as soon as we manage to pick our jaws up off the floor: Gov. Mike Pence is starting a state-run taxpayer-funded news outlet that will make pre-written news stories available to Indiana media, as well as sometimes break news about his administration, according to documents obtained by The Indianapolis Star. Pence is planning in late February to launch “Just IN,” a website and news outlet that will feature stories and news releases written by state press secretaries and is being overseen by a former Indianapolis Star reporter, Bill McCleery. And don’t you worry, citizens. It’s NBD, honest. The Pence administration is describing it as “similar to the state’s current online calendar of news releases, but with a new design,” which doesn’t sound so terrible … until you read the state’s own description of this thing: Read more on Indiana Governor To Start Very Own Pravda, Hooray!…
  The Elephants Are Kindly But They're Dumb

Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’

Megan Fox and reptilian overlord
Fresh off her brilliant destruction of evolution at Chicago’s Field Museum — accomplished by calling science “stupid” and noting that nobody saw what happened 450 million years ago, so shut up — homeschooling mom and amateur conservative skeptic Megan Fox has trained her keen analytical eye on the Brookfield Zoo. She conducts an “audit” — it sounds so professional! — of the exhibits to expose “the Left’s propaganda, lies, and evidence of the cult of Scientism at work.” We hate to disappoint you, kids, but her very limited success as a YouTube phenomenon has already spoiled Megan Fox. After the brilliant science-bashing idiocy of her visit to the Field Museum, her exposé of the zoo is a classic case of sophomore slump. The crazy eyes and manic stupidity are still there, but the magic? The magic is gone. Read more on Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’…
  A Clear And Present Stranger

Fox News Helpfully Explains New Black Panthers Are Going To Kill You Now

Fox News: When you absolutely positively have to scare old white people
Oh, sure, maybe the police in Ferguson, Missouri, are out of control, firing tear gas and rubber bullets at protesters and journalists, arresting anyone who dares to take their picture, and so on, but maybe you’ll be willing to cut them some slack when you hear this fact: The New Black Panthers are infiltrating the demonstrations and are probably planning to kill you right now! Read more on Fox News Helpfully Explains New Black Panthers Are Going To Kill You Now…
  soviet kitsch

Wingnut Blogs Freak Out: Jay Carney’s Kitchen Is Breeding Bolsheviks!

Here’s the latest rightwing freakout that doesn’t involve cows: Sharp-eyed observers noticed a couple of Soviet propaganda posters in the background of a photo of White House press secretary Jay Carney’s kitchen that ran in a fluff piece for Washingtonian Magazine. Reaction was swift: Barack Obama is surrounded by communists who live in nice houses. Eric Owens at Daily Caller describes the photo of the Carneys’ “dacha” as showing a “vast spread of fruits, meat and breads of all kinds…fit for an extended family of Slavic monarchs.” Jeff Allen at Matt Barber’s BarbWire asks, Might these be collectivist subliminal messages? Or maybe it confirms President Barack Obama’s socialist/communist leanings as demonstrated in the selection of the members of his administration? We’d really like to think they’re just something Carney picked up right before the photo shoot, just to piss off wingnuts. But yes, this is definitely a smoking gun of some kind, Inpeach, yawn, oh my goodness yes, it is pretty much over for Barack Hussein Obama and his terrifying plans to turn America into a communist hellhole just like Nazi Germany. Read more on Wingnut Blogs Freak Out: Jay Carney’s Kitchen Is Breeding Bolsheviks!…
  clipbait

Fox Business: Why Does The LEGO Movie Hate America?

Fox Business Network’s Charles Payne is very indignant that The LEGO Movie, the weekend’s top-grossing film, is “pushing its anti-business message to our kids” because the villain is an evil businessman. He also remarks that the character “looks a little bit like Mitt Romney,” which is maybe a stretch. Read more on Fox Business: Why Does The LEGO Movie Hate America?…
  you can't handle the truth

Super Secret Spy Man Jim Garrow Survives Obama’s (Or Satan’s) Latest Attempt To Kill Him

We hope you’ll indulge our fondness for the paranoid ravings of Jim Garrow, the “CIA spy” who likes to tell radio talk show wingnut Erik Rush all about Barack Obama’s secret plans to nuke America and to fool us into thinking that space aliens have contacted the White House, so that Russia and Canada can invade or some damn thing. Now Garrow is saying that Barack Obama is killing off Garrow’s fellow secret agents because of the threat they pose to his plan for total control. Lucky thing Garrow somehow remains free to go on rightwing radio shows to share that! Among other hobbyhorses, Rush and Garrow remain committed to the belief that military commanders are being “purged” by the Obama administration to cover up the President’s plan to kill 90% of Americans so that George Soros can get rich — all that stuff about sloppy drunk generals and cheating officers is just a cover story, you see. You just need to look at the big picture, which is that every third-rate Tom Clancy knockoff presents a plausible scenario for how the world works. (And of course, you need to keep in mind that Tom Clancy was himself knocked off by an Obama hit squad.) Read more on Super Secret Spy Man Jim Garrow Survives Obama’s (Or Satan’s) Latest Attempt To Kill Him…
  hellfireside chats

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Expose FDR’s Socialist Agenda

Last week, we learned that the Great Depression was caused by government regulation of free enterprise, and that while it was a tad uncomfortable for some, there was no need for any government interference in the wonderful job that private charities were doing to help people. Or at least, that’s how the Great Depression unfolds in the pages of our eighth-grade textbook from A Beka, America: Land I Love. This week, we’ll once again make only occasional mention of our other textbook, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), because while it’s got a definite conservative slant, it at least resembles reality. Land I Love, on the other hand, stops just short of saying Franklin Roosevelt was a commie, and certainly reminds kids at every turn that the New Deal should be seen as “a big step into socialism” and that FDR’s policies were unnecessary interference in an economy that wasn’t really all that bad anyway. Now that grandparents who lived through the Depression are no longer around to pollute the kids’ awareness with any firsthand accounts, it’s relatively easy to feed them a straight diet of rightwing revisionist bullshit. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Expose FDR’s Socialist Agenda…
  happy days are here again

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression

You’d think that after a year and a half of reviewing rightwing Christianist textbooks we’d be incapable of being surprised, but wow: this week’s look at how one of them covers the great Depression departs so sharply from what most of us call reality that you may want to strap in and wear a helmet to keep your brains from messing up your nice shag carpet. As usual, of the two books we’re looking at, it’s our 8th-grade text, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994), that’s the troublemaker. In fact, this week, we’re hardly going to reference our other book, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), because while it still has a conservative slant, it at least presents a recognizable version of historical reality. Land I Love, on the other hand, is so wedded to rightwing ideology that it simply insists that The Great Depression was maybe a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the socialists in media, government, and academe would have you believe. Mostly, the authors suggest again and again, the greatest tragedy of the Depression is that liberal politicians used it as an excuse to expand government and destroy individual freedom, because that’s just how FDR liked to roll. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression…
  journamalism

American Government Propaganda is Not Actually Propaganda, Says Government Official

Congress has worse ratings than cockroaches, Genghis Khan, and Nickelback. More than half of Americans think that the country is heading in the wrong direction. Over half of Americans think of Edward Snowden as a whistle-blower rather than a traitor. Should the government: a) take a serious look at the country, its policies, and the general desires of the American people to consider how its institutions can better tailor their various goals and strategies to people’s needs or b) convince the American people that their opinions, needs, and desires are wrong. The answer, of course, is b) convince the American people that their opinions, needs, and desires are wrong. From Foreign Policy: Read more on American Government Propaganda is Not Actually Propaganda, Says Government Official…
  dirty little fingers in everybody's pie

David Gregory Asks Important Question About Whether or Not He Should Go to Jail

Oh good, David Gregory, Serious Journalist, is on the scene to ask the important questions re: the NSA metadata/PRISM/wiretapping/megadata scandal. Like: how can we have a thriving democracy if we are subjected to cradle-to-grave surveillance what are the repercussions of a perpetual surveillance state, perceived or actual, on the administration’s ability to exert pressure on other countries with poor human rights records should Glenn Greenwald be subjected to criminal charges for helping Snowden tell all of us what our government is doing with our tax money, our infrastructure, and our private information? A fascinating question, especially from David Gregory, who plays a journalist on the Tee Vee: David Gregory: Final question…to the extent that you have aided and abetted Edward Snowden, even in his current movements, why shouldn’t you be charged with a crime? Read more on David Gregory Asks Important Question About Whether or Not He Should Go to Jail…
  secret agent mansplaining

Your Wonkette PRISM Explainer, Part 2 Of Infinite: Which Morons Are Saying What Stupid Things About PRISM?

We decided we needed an entirely separate Explainer to discuss all the stupid morons saying dumb things about PRISM and/or the collection of All Metadata Everywhere, because so many “journalists” have been MORE THAN HAPPY to come forward, pat America on its pretty head and mansplain that this is no big deal, and also, isn’t it nice that we are somehow magically so much SAFER due to the technological marvels of a top secret program? Also, which is it? A technological marvel whose penetration into our privacy is necessary to Keep Us Safe, or alternatively, a piddly little exercise in security theater that is No Big Deal (unless you are a terrorist, in which case, watch out!)? We are still not sure! Here, let us run through all a selection of the Op-Ed columnists who CANNOT WAIT to tell us how wonderful it is that the government is invading our privacy, and then we will get to the elected officials who are shocked, SHOCKED to discover the existence of a program they supported and voted for or alternatively, can’t figure out why everyone is so upset. Read more on Your Wonkette PRISM Explainer, Part 2 Of Infinite: Which Morons Are Saying What Stupid Things About PRISM?…
  The Lesson Is Goebbelled

New York Teacher Creates Worst Writing Assignment Ever: Learn About Nazi Germany By Explaining Why Jews Are Evil!

From time to time, you hear about fascinating, inventive teaching techniques that make the subject matter come alive for students. For instance, astute commenter Chet Kincaid recently recalled a mass media class in college where “the professor came up with a network television role-playing game to help us understand how TV worked as a business” — the class was divided into groups representing producers and network execs and advertisers, and the producers had to pitch show ideas to the networks, who would then try to attract advertisers. Immersive and creative! Unfortunately, somebody forgot to mention to an English teacher in Albany, New York, that this sort of creative roleplaying exercise doesn’t translate especially well to some topics, like, let’s say, the Holocaust. Which is why 10th graders at Albany High School got an assignment last week to research Nazi propaganda, then assume their teacher was a Nazi government official who had to be convinced of their loyalty. The assignment told students they “must argue that Jews are evil.” Not surprisingly, about a third of the students refused to do the assignment, because for fuck’s sake, and parents complained to the school administration, who are now considering what actions to take regarding the teacher, who has not been identified. If only there had been an alert student teacher to nip that nonsense in the bud! Read more on New York Teacher Creates Worst Writing Assignment Ever: Learn About Nazi Germany By Explaining Why Jews Are Evil!…