Tag Archives: prop 8

  virginia is for all lovers

Virginia Is For Lovers (Ramming Gay Down Your Throat)

Dag, federal judiciary, another state’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional? Which one is it this time? Virginia? Cool beans. And Virginia has a brand-new attorney general, Democrat Mark Herring, who’s actually on the side of the two gay couples who brought the suit, so the state will not appeal the decision; instead, the appeal will be handled by attorneys for two circuit court clerks in the state. Since those offices actually issue marriage licenses, the state’s refusal to defend the ban is unlikely to be thrown out on the basis of standing like California’s Prop 8 was, although the defense lawyers are from similar anti-equality angerbear groups. Sheesh, at this rate, every state is going to end up gay marrying their chairs to a can of beans and we will have nothing left to write about. Except maybe all the gay divorce rumors, so there’s that. Happy Valentine’s Gay, Virginia! Read more on Virginia Is For Lovers (Ramming Gay Down Your Throat)…
  Terrizm!

Washington Times Op-Ed: Investigating Scott Walker Based On Leads From Six Criminal Associates Is ‘Political Terrorism’

Judson Phillips is known to your Wonkette as a guy who once wrote that Barack Obama just might be a crack-smoking gay sexer, which was fun. Now he’s got some words in the Washington Times (yeah but still) about how the current criminal probe into Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s Forever Campaign (because he is always being recalled) is “political terrorism,” and the Bush-backed special prosecutor on the case is a “political terrorist.” Ha… ha? See, Scott Walker had some friends who worked for him and/or gave him money, and now those folks  have been convicted of various crimes, so sad! Bad friends that they are, they’ve allegedly said some things that amount to: “Scott Walker’s campaign did such and such crimes.” None of this is mentioned in Judson’s column of course, because shut up, it’s political terrorism something something gay marriage. Read more on Washington Times Op-Ed: Investigating Scott Walker Based On Leads From Six Criminal Associates Is ‘Political Terrorism’…
  we are all gay for california

Weekend Nice-Time: Here Have Some Gay California Weddings, Pfft, Whatever

Friday afternoon, just hours after the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals lifted the injunction that had been in place while the Prop 8 case went to the Supremes, all four of the plaintiffs in the case got married. The first wedding, for Berkeley couple Sandy Stier and Roger Ebert Kristin Perry, was performed by California Attorney General Kamala Harris at San Francisco City Hall. About an hour later, plaintiffs Paul Katami and Jeff Zarrillo were married in a ceremony at Los Angeles City Hall presided over by Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. In a disappointment for fans of a vengeful God, seismic activity in the state was no greater than normal. Read more on Weekend Nice-Time: Here Have Some Gay California Weddings, Pfft, Whatever…
  muppet of a man or a very manly muppet?

Why Must Terrible New Yorker Cover Infantilize This Important Moment In History With Gay Muppets?

Hey, New Yorker! Why did you have to go and RUIN FREEDOM for LGBT America today? Of course, we already know, thanks to K-Lo and New Republic, that your Bert-n-Ernie cover has destroyed childhood forever, but in the interests of equal time whining, how about the important cultural perspective of scolds on the left, hmmm? For instance, how about overinflated ego zeppelin Tyler Coates, who considers the cover “infantilizing and offensive”? Or Slate’s June Thomas, who says it’s a “Terrible Way to Commemorate a Major Civil Rights Victory”? These serious objections to frivolity must be given their due, because god knows, celebrating should be solemn business that does not stoop to pop-culture tomfoolery! Read more on Why Must Terrible New Yorker Cover Infantilize This Important Moment In History With Gay Muppets?…
  i think i blue myself

Bryan Fischer Tries This ‘Sarcasm’ Thing, Suffers Only Minor Injuries

Oh, golly, kids, we think the SCOTUS decisions throwing out DOMA and Prop 8 may have actually broken poor Bryan Fischer. Just look at the sorry mess he threw up on the American Patriarchy Association’s blog Thursday. See, he’s going to really rip on those liberal Justices, using their own twisted sick logic to expose their hypocrisy once and for all: Observers have yet to recognize the obvious: the liberal justices on the Supreme Court are a batch of homophobic bigots who harbor malice in their hearts toward homosexuals. This is evident based on their very own reasoning. In the DOMA ruling, they made it clear that every member of Congress who voted for DOMA, and the Democrat president who signed it into law, denied special rights to homosexuals for one reason and one reason only: their mean-spirited intent to “disparage,” “injure,” “degrade,” “demean” and “humiliate” homosexuals. What the what? OH, we GET IT, Bryan, the Court only threw out DOMA, but since they didn’t rule that Gay Marriage is now allowed — no, mandatory — in all 50 states, they are, by their own logic, big ol’ gay-haters! Oh, gosh, you sure did expose the hypocrisy of the Court’s majority there! Read more on Bryan Fischer Tries This ‘Sarcasm’ Thing, Suffers Only Minor Injuries…
  where has he been all our life?

Genius Orange County Law School Prof Explains That Prop 8 Is Still In Effect, Up Is Down And Black Is White

There is so much actual news happening, you guys. We are filled to the gills with actual news and it is killing us. We need some breathing room to find new ways to snark and we really really need some time to develop more swear-y synonyms to describe people who are assholes. So — time to take a step away from Serious News and make fun of this what-the-fuck law professor John Eastman from Orange County, California, that is going to explain to us all that the Supremes decision yesterday means Prop 8 stands and no one can get gay married nyah nyah nyah: Read more on Genius Orange County Law School Prof Explains That Prop 8 Is Still In Effect, Up Is Down And Black Is White…
  fail

See The Amazing SF Chronicle Front Page That Accidentally Forgot About Gay Marriage! (Update!)

So here is the San Francisco Chronicle’s front page for today. (It is in “print,” a thing where they put “ink” on “paper.”) You can look and look, but you will not find a story about “gay marriage” on it, in the paper of record for the city so gay Nancy Pelosi’s staffers all wear assless chaps, because BART is ONE STEP CLOSER to a WALKOUT! What are those little top stories above the A-1, for the world and nation fronts? They are: “Australia,” “Africa Trip,” “Filibuster Star,” “Death Penalty,” and “Ancient Horse.” Okay, so they must have covered it below the fold, right? Read more on See The Amazing SF Chronicle Front Page That Accidentally Forgot About Gay Marriage! (Update!)…
  We can haz traditional terrorist

Screw The Gay Stuff: Sarah Palin Fights To Uphold Sanctity Of Traditional Terrorism

While we here in the librulsphere have not yet finished dancing on the graves of DOMA and Prop 8 and lulzing with Nancy at the tears of Michele Bachmann and all the other butthurt conservatives who are rending their garments and crying SO hard because when Jesus said love thy neighbor, they think he stage-whispered “except the gay kind,” some conservatives have a different reaction. That is, none at all. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Gay marriage, you say? Nah, never heard of it. No evil chuckling from Pat Robertson. No whining from Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum. Why, it’s almost as if they are too busy curling up in the fetal position somewhere dark, mumbling argle bargle (that’s an official Supreme Court term, natch!) about Jesus and end times and shit. But never fear, the half-term governor is here to word salad at us! Just, you know, not about that. Read more on Screw The Gay Stuff: Sarah Palin Fights To Uphold Sanctity Of Traditional Terrorism…
  Super fucking nice time

Supreme Court Overturns Michele Bachmann’s Puny ‘God’

It is a beeeyootiful day in America if you are gay or gay-adjacent or if you enjoy the tears of bigots. The Supreme Court has struck down the sanctity of Newt Gingrich’s three marriages, and now that we’ve had some time to cry and dance and write FUCK YEAH! on our Facebook pages, it is time to move on to the customary ritual of mocking the ever-lovin’ fuck out of bigots, who are having all the sads right now, like Rep. Michele Batshit Bachmann. Read more on Supreme Court Overturns Michele Bachmann’s Puny ‘God’…
  we broke all gavin newsom's marriages

Gavin Newsom Invented Your Gay Marriage: Wonkette Appreciates

Gavin Newsom is California’s lieutenant governor. He used to be mayor of San Francisco. He is pretty. A long time ago, before today’s Supreme Court ruling invalidating Prop 8 (which we will have a post on EVENTUALLY, SNIPY), we wrote a thing. We are stealing it for you wholesale! How can you write about Gavin Newsom (D–Funkytown) without sounding like Maureen Dowd? How can you separate San Francisco’s mayor from his status as heterosexiest man alive? You can’t even think about that tall drink of man without conjuring up his six-foot-three inches, and his voice, rougher and raspier than a cat’s tongue, and his Edwardsian perfect coif. Men want to be him; women want to slip him a mickey. It would be so much easier if Gavin Newsom looked like Long Beach Mayor Bob Foster, who is old and sports a kind of John Boehner tan and somehow resembles an unsexy version of Old Handsome Joe Biden. Do you remember the morning in 2004 when Gavin Newsom announced that gay men and women could come to San Francisco City Hall, and they could pledge their lives and hearts and bodies to one another, just like they were real live people? I remember. I wept — sobbed — as I looked at the morning papers filled with above-the-fold photos of beautiful couples smiling shy-and-tenderly. I cried when I read that out-of-town folks could buy flowers from area florists to deliver to whichever ecstatic pairs were hanging out in line on the City Hall steps. I like to think I sent some flowers too, but it may be one of those false memories, like people who claim they were at Woodstock and actually believe it. Read more on Gavin Newsom Invented Your Gay Marriage: Wonkette Appreciates…
  straw-child arguments

Gay Marriage Killing Straight Parents Everywhere, Quick, Someone Save The Children

The Supreme Court yesterday heard oral arguments in Hollingsworth v. Perry, the Prop 8 gay marriage case. It was to be an intriguing day for observers of the anti-gay movement, because when you go before the Supreme Court, you are not allowed to use arguments like “gays are gross” and “Jesus does not like this,” on account of those are not really legal arguments for anything. How would they justify the ban? Oh, the suspense! As it turns out, “the essential thrust” of the anti-marriage argument was some nonsense about procreation, which was not really very interesting to us folks soaking up the last nonsensical defenses of blatant discrimination before they all get shuffled out of the courts and into annoying message boards where they belong. But an argument outside the court, made by the Family Research Council at the “March for Marriage,” was far more interesting: Gay marriage, you see, is ripping parents away from children! Why isn’t anybody considering the children?! You just want them to be raised by, who, gays? Yeah, right. Read more on Gay Marriage Killing Straight Parents Everywhere, Quick, Someone Save The Children…
  nothing certain except death and taxes and having to suck up to justice kennedy

Whiny Gays Finally Get Day in Court, Keep Whining Anyway

Hey gay homosexuals! Be happy! The Supreme Court is going to hear your gay cases about all the sick things you gays do, like get married and serve in the military. Wait, what? You’re NOT uniformly happy that the Supreme Court will hear your gay cases because there’s some complex different issues blah blah blah? WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM US? Read more on Whiny Gays Finally Get Day in Court, Keep Whining Anyway…
  news you can use

Rick Santorum Is a Flaming Idiot From Space

Here’s Rick Santorum’s Twitter reaction to today’s developments regarding the homosexuals of California. Did he read the news? Rights were restored! Good heavens sweet Jesus man. But maybe we’re wrong. Let’s see what the responses to this were like, on Twitter. Read more on Rick Santorum Is a Flaming Idiot From Space…
  just don't get all in our face about it

Appeals Court Mandates That All Californians Get Gay Married

The despised liberal 9th Circuit federal appeals court, which Newt Gingrich has pledged to pipe-bomb on his first day as president, ruled today that California’s Proposition 8, a law in which a bunch of out-of-state Mormons took away marriages from same-sex married couples, is unconstitutional. This upheld the original ruling by district court Judge Vaughn Walker. Now it’s almost certain that the fate of gay marriage in the United States will go to the Supreme Court and be determined by Anthony Kennedy, after he determines the fate of health care in the United States. Read more on Appeals Court Mandates That All Californians Get Gay Married…
  it's morning in america

Big Day For ‘W’ States!

Oh, God, can you even believe that more primaries are happening? When will America’s suffering end? Today’s victims are in Washington state and Wyoming. Washington has a savage, out-of-control “jungle primary” that will almost certainly result incumbent Democratic Senator Patty Murray facing off against Republican Dino Rossi, who lost the last two gubernatorial races. In Wyoming, literally twelve different people want to be governor, for some reason. How good a gig can being governor of Wyoming be, honestly? Read more on Big Day For ‘W’ States!… Read more on Big Day For ‘W’ States!…