Candy bar and porno chain 7-Eleven is of course holding an important election poll in which customers purchasing coffee have the option of using a blue cup if they support the Muslim or a red cup if they support Walnuts. Many more blue cups have sold! Why do 7-Eleven customers love terrorism so much? This website also says, “Hail To the Beans!” which is just flat-out funny as shit. [7-eleven via Mark Blumenthal]

A week and a half ago NBC newsman and Meet the Press moderator Tim Russert died, and the earth stopped in its orbit and let out a wild yawp of despair for the most wonderful person who ever lived. Speculation quickly ensued about who would replace Russert in a job that he alone among all living humans was uniquely suited to do: sit in a chair and ask politicians questions. And now we know who will host Meet the Press until the “election,” which will be called off at the last minute when we start bombing Iran. It’s Tom Brokaw! MORE »

The job of a public-relations professional is to make the Client look good, and FEMA flack John “Pat” Philbin certainly pulled that off last week, when he created a “press conference” featuring some very friendly “reporters” who turned out to be his own staffers. Getting a bunch of friendly questions from the “press” is no easy task for a federal agency best known for drowning thousands of poor Americans, so it should come as no surprise that “Pat” Philbin is getting a big promotion! He’s the new director of public affairs at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence — that’s the new-ish umbrella spy/torture agency that now owns the CIA and NSA and all the other intel shops quickly being outsourced to corrupt GOP-friendly contractors. Congratulation, “Pat”! We all look forward to your positive-message work on the promotion of torture and murder and White House-level intelligence cover-ups.

UPDATE: Not so fast, “Pat.” ODNI has revoked the cushy job offer.

FEMA Director of External Affairs Exits Amidst PR Scandal; Lands at ODNI [PR Newser]

Above, hand-drawn directions to Donald Rumsfeld’s house, left on a table at a Dupont Starbucks by Eric Ruff two years ago (and redacted by Center for American Progress). MORE »

CNN Pipeline is Free today! You know what CNN Pipeline is, right? It’s live streaming video direct from CNN. Though not actually of CNN. Of other things, that CNN cameras are at. Kind of like C-Span, but not as tightly-edited. This, for example, is currently on Pipe 3:

That screenshot isn’t really lacking anything the live feed offers, except the occasional throat-clearing from an unnamed reporter. We just turned off the sound and cranked some Philip Glass — very thought-provoking. MORE »