Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your stupid virginity in a haze of Bartles & Jaymes? That’s right, PROM NIGHT! Well, two chaperones […]

Like any other girl who dreams of the magical night that is her prom, high school senior Texanna Edwards just wanted to dress up as the muscle car from “The Dukes Of Hazzard,” the General Lee. The lady who was the prom sponsor suggested before the Confederate flag dress was made that this was a […]

Everything was going great with the women and the men, who stopped fighting against women/each other this weekend just long enough to watch ‘Shark Tank’ and eat a few hot dogs, but now Michelle Obama has something to say. It is a picture, which as you know can say a lot, especially if the picture […]

As a presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee had no money, staff, or knowledge of foreign policy. He did have an economic policy, but it was the Fair Tax, that famously comical pyramid scheme. So how did he get the second most delegates? Metaphors. Extended metaphors. Millions of extended metaphors about key lime pie and yard work […]

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How to Sneak Into Bloomberg

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It’s Coming, Calm Down

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