It’s Wednesday, everyone, and that’s the day of the week that the New York Times releases its Sunday Magazine to the Internet and Richard Cohen’s hated BlackBerrys! Obama must be so happy. Especially this week, because he’s mentioned in it! This issue’s cover story profiles legendary Hawk and Dove drunk Robert Gibbs, Obama’s former campaign communications “czar” and press secretary-elect. The Times‘ excellent Mark Leibovitch wrote the piece, so it’s quite readable and you may want to go through the whole thing yourself. But since you all are lazy unemployed slobs, we’ve extracted some of the more delightful bits below. Teaser: Obama is a hologram? MORE »

Keeping accord with weekly tradition, Wonkette channeled its insomnia at 4:30 a.m. this Monday morning to a week-old version of the New Yorker magazine, online, so as to scan for a “politics article.” There was a Ben Bernanke profile, which is EXACTLY what we asked our parents to get us for Christmas, at Best Buy. Jesus Christ, it is a long one though. Shorter than, say, Billy Budd, but easily twice as long as Bartleby. Anyway, Bernanke’s friends suck: “Bernanke was frustrated by the attacks on his policies, especially when they came from academics whose work he respected. If he moved slowly, people on Wall Street accused him of timidity. If he brought rates down sharply, academic economists accused him of going soft on inflation.” Aww shucks. [New Yorker]

Here’s yet another profile from another New York magazine that we read due to boredom, although this magazine is literally called New York. This story is about your favorite recluse, Hillary Clinton, and the last days of her campaign. The writer gets many interviews with her, too! The gist of the story is that because of her utter failure as a politician, strategist and manager for the first year of her campaign, followed by her complete switch to manipulation, demagoguery, lies and pandering after her loss was almost mathematically sealed, Hillary Clinton at this very moment is a “Superstar,” the greatest fucking mammal this world has seen or will ever know. MORE »

We didn’t cover the looooooong John McCain profile in November’s GQ precisely because it was long. Eleven Internet pages of Walnuts! Pass. Fortunately a tipster found a funny excerpt involving Tom Tancredo and some nachos and copy-pasted it to us. MORE »