Wonkette

All right, our Note-induced case of the vapors has subsided long enough to review the responses to our plea for assitance in deciphering today’s Halperinite headline-for-one, “The Owl Flies West (?)” Responses were gratifyingly varied and imaginative, but it’s been our experience in such unnerving cases that it’s best to hew to the most straightforward explanation. To wit, the enclosed from Reader D.S.: MORE »

Oh, Note! Why do you tease and derange us so? We swore we would be lured no longer down your florid yet terminally occluded path of dim insinuation and addled wit. For that is where, we have learned by painful experience, the English language–to say nothing of the mental properties of sensemaking that have sustained its frail development over these many long centuries–goes not merely to die, but to be suckerpunched, pitifully buckled over and breathless, wailing the unanswerable plaint, “Why, Note, Why? What have I ever done to deserve this? Curse your portentous prolixities and your gnomic formulations of the teeth-grindingly obvious!”

Absurdly detailed Notely ruminations after the jump.

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Really, we don’t mean to harp on the stylistic flourishes of the Note. But the thing just randomly sprays so much pretension and so many empty faux-knowing asides into our poor overtaxed brainpan that we find ourselves idly trying to formulate Notely phrases to describe its torment: “risible rodomontade”? “power-vocab preening”? “obfuscatory obsequiousnes to power”? “fellatial mash notes to the headmaster”? MORE »