Tag Archives: pro-life

  Triumph Of The Living Will

Jeb Bush Gonna Death-Panel Americans To Death, With Death Panels!

OK, it's a little heavyhanded. Except maybe compared to passing a law to keep someone on life support forever.
Probable presidential candidate John Ellis Bush (“Jeb”) Bush, fresh off his recent interview bragging about how he saved Terri Schiavo’s life real good 13 years ago, has given some thought to how future governors can be saved from the anguish that he had to suffer in that case, and he thinks maybe the answer is that patients on Medicare should be required to make a plan for the kind of end-of-life care they want. You know, death panels. Read more on Jeb Bush Gonna Death-Panel Americans To Death, With Death Panels!…
  mommyblogging

Shut Up Paul Anka, Ben Shapiro’s Dad Has Written Greatest Pro-Life Anthem OF ALL TIME!

Move over, Paul Anka. There is a new pro-life anthem in town, and not a minute too soon because “You’re Having My Baby” came out over 40 years ago! Let’s remind ourselves of the glory and perfection that was the song about how Paul Anka is super glad his woman did not put a coathanger to the fruit of his jism: Read more on Shut Up Paul Anka, Ben Shapiro’s Dad Has Written Greatest Pro-Life Anthem OF ALL TIME!…
  Usually Kaili is mad about a thing but it's MY TURN BITCHEZ

Walmart Withholds Medicine From Lady Who Miscarried, Because She’s Probably A Sinner

Everyone woman should have babies except not
Imagine you are a lady, and you are going through the sadness that comes with a miscarriage. This is one of those times in life, we imagine (as we are a dude), that you really don’t want to deal with any bullshit, just a guess? So you go to the doctor, and he gives you a prescription for Misoprostol, which will help your body pass the tissue, instead of having to go through an invasive, unpleasant procedure to extract it. Doc calls your scrip in to the friendly neighborhood Walmart, but the pharmacist refuses to fill it, because Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs. You see, this particular drug can ALSO cause an abortion, which is not a FUCKING PROBLEM if you have already miscarried, now is it? But that is exactly what happened to Brittany Cartrett of Milledgeville, Georgia: Read more on Walmart Withholds Medicine From Lady Who Miscarried, Because She’s Probably A Sinner…
  How Is Babby Incarcerated?

Wisconsin Likes Jailing Pregnant Ladies Too, For The Children

Pregnant women are for punishin'
Looks like Wisconsin is the latest state to get in on the hot new “Throw Pregnant Women in Jail” trend. Motivated in equal parts by the “pro-life” movement and plain old misogyny — but we repeat ourselves — prosecutors in Alabama and Texas have been jailing pregnant women who have tested positive for drug use. This is ostensibly for the sake of the fetus, because any woman who’d take drugs while pregnant is obviously a child abuser, but the women treated to the states’ tender mercies often end up getting lousy prenatal care in prison, not to mention their diminished job prospects once the babby is born and mom has a criminal record. And now Wisconsin is getting in on the trend, too. Read more on Wisconsin Likes Jailing Pregnant Ladies Too, For The Children…
  She makes a bag of hammers look good

Is Iowa’s Lady Wannabe Senator Joni Ernst Stupid Or Just Really Stupid?

Give her a minute she's trying to figure it out
Iowa state Sen. Joni Ernst is definitely not the brightest belle in the drawer. She’s hoping to get elected to the U.S. Senate on a platform of arresting the government for Obamacare, warning the rural folk about Agenda 21’s plot to make them ride bicycles like common Chinese, and also something about castrating pigs. Read more on Is Iowa’s Lady Wannabe Senator Joni Ernst Stupid Or Just Really Stupid?…
  Stand With Wendy (With Your Dollars)

Now Wendy Davis Can’t Even Have Abortions Right

You may have heard the SHOCKING! news that Wendy Davis, Democratic candidate for Texas governor and Yr Wonkette’s 2013 State Legislative Badass, has written a memoir, Forgetting To Be Afraid, in which she discusses, for the first time, that she (shudder! gasp! hide the children!) had not one but TWO abortions: the first, in 1994, when she terminated an ectopic pregnancy, which doctors said was necessary to save her life; and the second, two years later, when her unborn daughter, whom she had already named Tate Elise, had “a severe brain abnormality” and would be in a “permanent vegetative state,” if she even survived to term. It was, she said in an interview with Robin Roberts of “Good Morning America,” a “tragic experience” for her family. Read more on Now Wendy Davis Can’t Even Have Abortions Right…
  Cute

Abortion Rights Group Gives Coat Hanger Pendants To Donors, Furious Wingnuts Don’t Realize Joke’s On Them

The DC Abortion Fund has found a very clever way to trick anti-choice right-wing social engineers into using their outraged Twittering to help DCAF raise some serious cash, for buying abortions! If you give the DC Abortion Fund $10 a month, you’ll get a tiny coat hanger, ideal for wearing as a pendant or neatly storing your pet hamster’s tuxedo, which would also make a pretty cool pendant. Of course, for DCAF’s tactic to work, the anti-choice crowd had to cooperate by totally failing to realize that the coat hanger is a joke at their expense — that if they succeed in banning abortion, the old horror days of coat hangers and tumbles down stairs and thousands of dead women will inevitably return. So did they cooperate? Did they fail to realize that they are the real coat hangers? Oh Twitchy, did they ever! Read more on Abortion Rights Group Gives Coat Hanger Pendants To Donors, Furious Wingnuts Don’t Realize Joke’s On Them…
  for the girl who has everything

Only 341 Days To Buy Us This Adorable, Non-Creepy 3-D Printed Fetus For Christmas

Since you can’t wrap up ‘arrogant self-righteousness’ in a box, what do you get your pro-life friend for Christmas? Fast Company has found self-righteousness’s runner-up: A 3D fetus “figurine”! Holy drunken goatfucker, that is creepy. But wait! Like those infomercials you watch while high at 3 am, THERE’S MORE. Read more on Only 341 Days To Buy Us This Adorable, Non-Creepy 3-D Printed Fetus For Christmas…
  it was much funnier in the parrot sketch

Mike Huckabee Explains How Taking Dead Girl Off Life Support Is Like Forced Abortions In Auschwitz

By now you probably know the sad, awful story of Jahi McMath, the Oakland, California 13-year-old who suffered complications after a complex tonsillectomy, leaving her brain-dead. Her family, however, refuses to accept that “no blood flow to the brain” and “no electrical activity in the brain or brain stem” are the same as “really, actually dead.” So since December 12, they have kept her body alive, on a ventilator, and hope to move her to a long-term care facility where machines will continue to make her heart pump and her lungs breathe, even though brain death is final and irreversible — this is not a persistent vegetative state like that of Terri Schiavo; this is just plain death. And so, of course, potential 2016 Republican candidate Mike Huckabee thinks Jahi’s body should be kept hooked up to a machine, because he is so very pro-life that he believes that brain-dead people can get better (they can’t). It’s sort of reassuring to know that, no matter how tragic a situation might be, there’s always the chance that a rightwing politician will find a way to jump in and make it even worse. Read more on Mike Huckabee Explains How Taking Dead Girl Off Life Support Is Like Forced Abortions In Auschwitz…
  keep your government hands off my license plate

Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli Personally Lying To All The Sluts About Their Bortions

Ken Kkuccinelli – sorry – Cuccinelli – sorry – Saint Cooch Nobortions is going to lose Virginia’s governorship to Terry McAuliffe, a muppet. Maybe Cooch is losing because Cooch’s ideas are bad and wrong, like for example he wants to criminalize sodomy again, and he wants to get rid of abortions. Maybe it’s because people associate him with E.W. Jackson, because of how they’re both running for statewide office as Republicans and they’re both super interested in seeing what happens when you govern a modern US state based on their Double Fantasies of What Would White Capitalist Gun-Having Jesus Do? Either way, he’s losing. But can NARAL Pro-Choice America pile on, and humiliate Cooch Screwed The Pooch even more utterly? Like for example by releasing a video that directly ties him to the “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” that are funded by Virginia’s “Choose Life” license plates, where women are told terrible lies that could harm their health? YES THEY CAN! Boy, can they ever: Read more on Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli Personally Lying To All The Sluts About Their Bortions…
  we can take the circus all the way to the border

Arkansas Limits Abortions To Six Or Seven Minutes After Conception

Existing abortion rulings — including that big shiny one from the Supreme Court — make it pretty clear: Women have a right to abortion access in the period before the child is viable outside the womb. Unable to push time restrictions back much further than around 20 weeks, anti-abortion legislators have instead resorted to other restrictions, like ultrasounding innocent women indiscriminately and making doctors explain the abortion procedure in iambic pentameter standing on one foot with Pantera playing in the background. Last week, the Arkansas state legislature limited abortions to that 20-week line, ostensibly because that’s when a fetus can feel pain, even if that’s not true at all. But that wasn’t good enough! They wanted to do more. But instead of passing an arbitrary law mandating all examination tables be made of ice cream, they did something that no one was counting on: They passed a law that is totally, clearly, stupidly, unconstitutional. Read more on Arkansas Limits Abortions To Six Or Seven Minutes After Conception…
  just making things up

Genius-Doctor Indiana Republicans Approve Religion-Based Ultrasounds, How Nice Of Them

You’ve heard of RU-486, right? It’s that pill women can take that induces an abortion without anyone having to perform surgery. It’s way safer than surgical abortion (and pregnancy), and it doesn’t require any fancy surgical rooms to administer. It’s a good way to make abortions available in places where surgical ones, for whatever reason, are impractical. This, logically, makes Republicans very mad. The ones in Indiana are so mad, in fact, that if you try to get this legal, FDA-approved medication, they will put a stick in your hoo-ha! Read more on Genius-Doctor Indiana Republicans Approve Religion-Based Ultrasounds, How Nice Of Them…
  a gentleman and a scholar and actually neither

Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend

Craaaazy news out of Missouri, everybody. You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics, then got himself elected to the state legislature. Would you believe it was Sen. Todd Akin (R-Uterus)? It was! As hard as it might be to believe, the guy who got all scandalized after he decided to talk about “legitimate rape” is not just supportive of anti-abortion legislation, he was (ahem, allegedly) also so voceriferously abusive to women at clinics that the police had to carry him away. What dedication! Most people just donate to Richard Mourdock — Akin finds ladies and insults them, personally! Read more on Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend…
  bundles of joy

Get Ready For Your Close-Up, Tea Bag Pro-Life Congressman Who Pressured His Mistress To ‘Bortion His Baby

Bitches. All you’re trying to do is treat their foot fungus or whatever, and they hold you down and rape you probably, and then they tell you they are on the Pill or something, and then they get your sperm all up in them and it makes a little tiny baby! Obviously it is their fault your wife divorces you after initiating divorce proceedings two years prior when she found out about your first affair (of four). What can a future Tea Bag pro-life Congressman do but record himself on the phone pressuring the succubus-raper to get a ‘bortion of his tiny little Gift from God? Tennessee Congressman Scott DesJarlais, you are a walking Good Decision! Read more on Get Ready For Your Close-Up, Tea Bag Pro-Life Congressman Who Pressured His Mistress To ‘Bortion His Baby…
  what is 'legal'?

Gallup: Record High Number Of Pro-Life Americans Want To Kill Your Children

Fun news for chart nerds! Gallup has once again released its annual poll illustrating how much Americans hate abortion by saying it should be legal in all or certain cases. That’s right, “pro-choicers” are at a “record low” of only 41 percent of respondents who want to kill children. Except for the 77 percent of respondents who think abortion should be legal! Fuck man, math is hard. Read more on Gallup: Record High Number Of Pro-Life Americans Want To Kill Your Children…
  just thinking ahead

Arizona Making Headway With Bill Defining Conception As…Two Weeks Prior To Conception

Arizona has now “outdone everyone,” as another media outlet puts it, by trying to establish that really when you think about it, a baby is made during that unpleasant time of the month during which a woman discards last month’s egg in preparation for a new one that she may or may not intend to meet with a sperm in holy zygotrimony. Yes, that’s right, AZ has already passed a bill in the senate, now making its way to the house, stating that the “age” of a zygote should be “calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman.” Sometimes it takes a couple of penises who don’t know anything to show us how the world really works. How things really should be. Life begins at conception, yes indeed, and conception is a bloody mess during which it is statistically nearly impossible to get pregnant. Read more on Arizona Making Headway With Bill Defining Conception As…Two Weeks Prior To Conception…
  the glossies

Amazing Magazine ‘The Conservative Teen’ Has A Lot To Say, None Of It By Teens

Today is a good day. Here is a magazine called The Conservative Teen, whose first issue is miraculously FREE and ONLINE for you to read in its entirety. The Conservative Teen appears to essentially be one of those “$4.99 ORDINARILY BUT FOR YOU, FREE!” fake magazines like Raw Life Today, or whatever, that sneak their way into your doctor’s waiting room. Except with The Conservative Teen, what we have is not product-touting, but idea-touting. IDEAS. Finally, some ideas. Like how to always have a baby at any time. And to never watch Glee. And of course, because the titular reader of this magazine doesn’t know anything because they are home-schooled in a patient manner, the articles in The Conservative Teen are written by grownups, who all happen to be involved with either The Heritage Foundation, Fox Business News, the Family Research Council or the Media Research Center. Fun fun fun! Read more on Amazing Magazine ‘The Conservative Teen’ Has A Lot To Say, None Of It By Teens…
  the notorious bfg

Young George W. Bush Traumatized By Barbara Bush’s Fetus Jar

Some people give lame reasons to be pro-life, but George W. Bush really has a pretty good excuse. While on his current “Say Anything To Get People To Buy My Book Nobody Would Read Otherwise” tour, Bush revealed to Matt Lauer the reason he dislikes abortion: His mother had a miscarriage when he was a teenager and liked to parade around her dead offspring in a jar. Holy hell, this family. “Junior, please pass sister fetus jar the mashed potatoes.” “Junior, please drive your brother the fetus jar to school.” “Junior, doesn’t your sister the fetus jar look beautiful in her prom dress? Pull her out of the goo and pin that corsage on her, wouldn’t you? Then give her a kiss goodbye. She’d best be going or she’ll be late!” Read more on Young George W. Bush Traumatized By Barbara Bush’s Fetus Jar…
  dinguses

The Political System Works, Assuming You’re Okay With Scum-Suckers!

According to True Democracy, it is good for politicians to remake their positions according to the political will of the body they’re representing. (Maybe! PoliSci 101 was just boring enough for us to drop the shit out of it and read poetry for four years instead. American Politics is easy enough to figure out by reading like two articles per week and not being fully retarded. And yet…) But according to common humanity, Harold Ford Junior is the embodiment of diarrhea. This morning: “I am pro-choice — have always been since I entered politics almost 15 years ago.” In 2006, when he was running as a pro-life candidate: “Let me say this. No, no. I was not pro-choice at one time.” HAROLD, FOR THE LAST (not really) TIME, YOU ARE NOT BARACK OBAMA. [Eschaton] Read more on The Political System Works, Assuming You’re Okay With Scum-Suckers!…
  fiat justitia

How Much Do You Want This Tasteful License Plate? So Much It’s ILLEGAL?

Today is THE DAY, the first day of the new Supreme Court, starring Sonia Sotomayor. The first case is something about how long is too long to wait to call a lawyer after being arrested. Oh! Well! How long is too long for your Wonkette to wait to discuss the excitement that is the thing we just described? Is “forever o’clock” too long? Good! Anyway, here’s this comical other case, in which some “Choose Life Illinois, Inc.” DEMANDED that the Illinois Supreme Court force the state to sell and manufacture the conspicuously poorly designed license plates pictured right over there. Read more on How Much Do You Want This Tasteful License Plate? So Much It’s ILLEGAL?…
  freedom of choice

Free Abortion Donuts On Demand!

Krispy Kreme wants to help you celebrate Barack Obama’s inauguration by giving you a donut! Obviously this is a metaphor for abortion. Read their shocking press release after the jump. Read more on Free Abortion Donuts On Demand!…
  well that is what you get for having sex!

John McCain Does Not Believe In Women’s Quote Unquote Health

Here was a goodie from last night: the part where Barack Obama tries to explain to all the morbid nuts in America who get into a froth over the thought of him dumpster-diving for tasty “failed abortions” that in fact no, he is no big fan of late-term abortion and would ban it if there were an exception for the health of the mother. And John McCain snorts, “Health, what is that malarkey, this ‘health of the mother’ is some crazy fiction dreamed up by liberals so that ladies can keep slutting around all the time.” [TPM] Read more on John McCain Does Not Believe In Women’s Quote Unquote Health…