Here was a goodie from last night: the part where Barack Obama tries to explain to all the morbid nuts in America who get into a froth over the thought of him dumpster-diving for tasty “failed abortions” that in fact no, he is no big fan of late-term abortion and would ban it if there were an exception for the health of the mother. And John McCain snorts, “Health, what is that malarkey, this ‘health of the mother’ is some crazy fiction dreamed up by liberals so that ladies can keep slutting around all the time.” [TPM]

As you know, the worst mayor ever of anything, Rudy Giuliani, will deliver the keynote address at his party’s convention. Rudy Giuliani is a fucking stupid rat-demon whose pathetic 5th place campaign couldn’t even make it past January after 12 months of exploiting, for political purposes, the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians whose safety he, as mayor of the attacked city, was supposed to protect. He really is the most appropriate symbol for the Republican convention that follows eight years of George W. Bush, although probably not for the same reasons that the speaker selection committee chose him. Anyway he had a conference call today and just completely bombed on it, because he’s fucking stupid. MORE »

Maverick John McCain is at it again, sticking his finger in the eye of the Republican establishment by saying he wouldn’t rule out a pro-choice running mate. Two names came to mind — Tom Ridge and Michael Bloomberg — and in a recent interview with the Weekly Standard McCain strained to point out that Ridge was far more appealing because he only loved abortions, not both abortions and The Gays. MORE »

Some kooky Yale gal made an art project where she got knocked up and then made herself miscarry a million times, and then she smeared her gross abortion blood together with Vaseline and put it on a large suspended cube and now everybody hates her. She wants to “inspire some sort of discourse” and “provoke inquiry,” which is liberal Ivy League elitist code for “make everybody want to barf.” Why won’t pro-choice Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton apologize for not aborting this Yale student years ago? [Yale Daily News]

Oh look, it’s Folksy Fred Thompson doing a teevee interview and he’s got a little girl on his lap for some reason and OH JESUS CHRIST SHE’S EATING A DIAPHRAGM. Okay, you can stop the clip now — we have no idea what happens after it cuts away from the charming sight of a little girl chewing on her mother’s giant diaphragm. WTF, people, WTF? Is this what happens when all the real toys are covered in Red Chinese poison lead paint?

Fred and Jeri Thompson talk to Sean Hannity [YouTube]

Hello everybody. This is your guest-blogger here. It’s a well-known fact that the Wonkette regulars have a sick, twistedly sexual, and frankly sad obsession with Katherine Harris. Thus, I thought I’d use this platform to reveal my own secret and much healthier Capitol Hill crush, South Dakota’s at-large Congressperson Stephanie Herseth. That’s her over the right. Isn’t she adorable?

Anyway, usually she keeps a fairly low profile and thus manages to stay off this site’s lecherous radar, but in the last week or so she’s found herself entangled in an imbroglio that involves fake fiances, fake fetuses, and a vandalized Wikipedia article. More on the madness after the jump.

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