Chairman of the Senate committee on Elder Grievances John McCain is boldly taking on Big Television to address an issue dear to wrathful retirement community members everywhere: the cable bill is apparently too damn high. (We would not know. Your Wonkette has never had cable, because snore.) Ol’ Walnuts has introduced the Television Consumer Freedom […]

The Wall Street Journal is shaking its cane regarding Congress’s unseemly refusal to reform food stamps. Why are Democrats uniting to stop hero Senator Jeff Sessions’ teeny-tiny $20 billion snip to the program? After all, going on the dole used to be shameful, and now food stamps go to people even if they live in […]

Barack Obama’s latest hard-charging attack on federal waste is a presidential directive complete with triumphant press release officially ordering government agencies to cut back on the purchase of promotional products, aka “swag,” that will somehow save taxpayers millions of dollars they probably did not realize they were spending on Supreme Court-themed Magic 8-balls or ATF […]

Oh, lord. The city of Topeka, Kansas went ahead with its harebrained scheme to legalize domestic violence in order to save money they claim they no longer have to spend prosecuting abuse cases. Hey, priorities! Isn’t this maybe the sort of thing where it might be worth it for the city to just levy an […]

In our new era of Total Government Dysfunction, Congressional leaders decided to head to recess before passing a bill to replace Benjamin Franklin on the $100 bill with a picture of Barack Obama licking Ronald Reagan’s corpse, haha passing a bill to temporarily finance the Federal Aviation Administration, the agency in charge of making sure […]

It is hard times, hard choices in Alabama, where legislators have been forced like in many other states to slash funding for their state parks and historical monuments because of priorities, etc. “But who will think of the trees and the history?” Eh, no one, next question. “But who will think of the racists?” OH […]

Everybody suffers in their own way, okay? Don’t judge! Sometimes when somebody loves a fish in a very special way, that person is unhappy when the fish can’t be shipped from Japan, on the other side of the world.

Our new president has some pretty messed up priorities, hoo boy! Did you notice that during his first 100 days in office he ended the recession and shook hands with tin-pot dictators and even got himself a fancy purebred dog, but did not have the time or the inclination to designate, say, a NASA administrator? […]