Tag Archives: Prince Harry

  we few we happy few

Prince Harry To Unsheath His Mighty Sword

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! His Royal Highness Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, better known as Prince Harry Hardcock, has decided to lead his kingdom’s Christian knights in battle against the heathen Pathan. Harry, last seen cavorting with nymphs and maidens in the fabled pleasure domes of Las Vegas, has taken vows as a Crusader despite some opposition amongst Her Britannic Majesty’s courtiers, who fear the third in line for the Imperial throne might be killed, mutilated, or worse, caught pantsless in some Emir’s seraglio. A previous foray upon the field of battle was cut short after members of the United Kingdom’s royal fellowship of heralds and criers published newes of the blood royal’s whereabouts in dark Afghanistan. Nothing daunted, the prince will again mount his duraluminium steed and set forth to slay the unbelievers, armed only with his strong right arm and his abiding faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Plus Sidewinder and Hellfire missiles, 70mm Hydra 70 rockets and a 30mm auto-cannon. Read more on Prince Harry To Unsheath His Mighty Sword…
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America’s ‘Muslin’ Problem Now A Global Threat

Now the Muslin youths are associating with each other and everything! This shocking revelation comes along with news that a British royal said something racist once (?!?!?!). Thank you to Wonkette operative Sandra for the tip. [AP] Read more on America’s ‘Muslin’ Problem Now A Global Threat…
 

Iraq Shocker: Iraq Not Quite Safe Enough For British Royalty

Despite the great process the U.S. and U.K. have made in transforming Iraq into a blood-soaked Boschian hellscape of endless horror, the former country still isn’t quite safe enough for a major political stunt such as sending an heir to the British Throne there for photo ops. Read more on Iraq Shocker: Iraq Not Quite Safe Enough For British Royalty…
 

Daily Briefing: Sticks and Stoners

* Democratic Presidential candidates traipse across the country calling on each other to denounce things, people. [WP, NYT, LAT] * No one’s partying the night away in Chatta-vegas over President Bush’s tax-credit health insurance plan. [WP, NYT] * Prince Harry will play soldier for a while in Iraq before going back to a life of leisure he neither earned nor deserves! [AP] * Libby Trial’s focus on “the semantics of lying” totally screwing up chances for an Iran war. [WSJ] * So, apparently DHS operates 325 “immigrant detention centers.” They are also, apparently, shitty places to be detained. [NYT] * Loose coalition of “dudes on the couch” sues HHS and FDA for saying mean things about weed. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Sticks and Stoners…
 

Rumors On The Internets: No Less Than 1,478,000 Morons In America

* Tony Snow is happy to confirm he’s not lying, when he’s not lying. [1115] * Creepiest media moguls to attend conference in creepiest state for creepiest candidate. [Hotline on Call] * Smarmy elites chase dandified elites from national political stage. [Political Insider] * Barry Hussein wins key endorsement from leader of pro-terror voting block. [Election Central] * Coalition party in Iraq must’ve run out of booze. [The Gavel] * British troops only being withdrawn so Prince Harry doesn’t have to grow any hair — on his precious porcelain balls. [Breitbart] * Fox news viewers tune into The 1/2 Hour News Hour to save time. [Comedy Central Insider] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: No Less Than 1,478,000 Morons In America…
 

Remainders: Buy the Ones You Can and Kill The Rest

Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo] In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe] Read more on Remainders: Buy the Ones You Can and Kill The Rest…
 

How Do You Like Your Royals?

In face paint? With a big gun? If so, then Prince Harry is your man. He had this to say in an earlier interview about his intended service, specifically about the possibility he could find himself fighting in Iraq after being commissioned in April: Read more on How Do You Like Your Royals?…